Kiara Faeriekin (only_kiara) wrote in _survivors_,
Kiara Faeriekin
only_kiara
_survivors_

okay. i am alone in the office with two boys. i thought i would be okay, but now i'm feeling ucky. tense. fearful. breathing shallow and weird. jumpy.
i did the "hold your finger" thing that the councelor lady said to do. i don't remember which finger she said to hold for what feeling, but i tried the thumb. it worked a little. i just went to the bathroom and i stayed in there for a little while. i couldn't get myself to open the door for a few minutes.
it's not really effecting my work or outward appearance, but i feel... scared?
i mean, i'm not scared of these boys, i know them and have worked with them before. but, this time boss-lady isn't in the office with me. i don't know why i feel like this but i feel like i'm hyperventalataing. breathe - breathe - breathe!
i cannot continue like this. it isn't healthy. i HAVE to be able to work with boys if needed. oh gawd, what do i do? this cannot continue.
everything looks kinda black round the edges - no, not really, it just feels that way. my eyes are going wonky. back muscles are tense and hurty. my heart's going a mile a minute.
i can't seem to breathe or relax.
they're just boys. they're harmless and wouldn't even *touch* me with a pinky finger. i have GOT to calm down.

just sharing, i suppose. gotta get it all out. any advice on how to calm down and get back to reality - logical reality - that i can do in the office?

x-posted
Tags: grounding techniques, panic attacks
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