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_Survivors_
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Not triggering, I just need advice 
16th-Oct-2005 01:43 am
Hey guys, the names Lyndsey....

I was molested for a number of years by my grandfather. I can't even remember back to a time when I wasn't being touched by this person .. So as you know, it's very devastating. Renectly, I'm going to have to go to trial to testify against this person because he plead "not guilty" ... Have any of you been through anything like this? I really do need some feedback as to what I might be in store for. I'm really nervous, and I don't really have a stable support system as of right now. I mean, I have my boyfriend and of course he tries to be there for me, but truth is he doesn't really know how I feel as much as he'd like to think he does. So I just need some reassurance I guess. I haven't seen him in a very long time, not since I was 15 and I'm 21 now ... Ugh. Just please help me?

Thanks a bunch.
<3
Comments 
15th-Oct-2005 10:46 pm (UTC)
just hang in there you are so strong to be testifying. Good for yoU:)
IT will be ok, you can do this, youve already lived through much worse. So just hang on ok? *hugs*
15th-Oct-2005 10:47 pm (UTC)
oh and counseling? maybe free counseling at your church or college. OR reading books like courage to heal, that has a chapter on reporting/trial.
hang in there.
16th-Oct-2005 12:12 am (UTC)
Good for you for being strong enough to testify, I cant even begin to imagine the pain your going through :hugs tightly
16th-Oct-2005 09:53 am (UTC) - You are so very brave!!
Testifying is tough, no matter what...defense attourney will probably shred you, thats what they do...just remember that you are right, and no matter what the outcome, you are safe from him...I got sorta lucky, I didn't have to testify, my stepdad was already in jail for molesting a 5 year old...I got too old and he went for a younger girl...you have my support and you are in my prayers...lotsa big hugs to you...and for your boyfriend, let him know what happened, you can't begin to deal with the future until you deal with the past...more big hugs!!!
17th-Oct-2005 06:37 am (UTC)
::hugs:: I had to testify against my father for his incest. It was incredibly hard, and very emotionally tiring.

My advice? Use your coping skills, and try your best in the moments your not in court to try to stay calm. Remember, in testimony, your grandfather's defense lawyer will try to make you out to be a liar - it can be *really* triggering. You definitely want to bring comforting things with you, and try to self-soothe throughout the whole thing.

It's *really* emotionally trying, I'm sending you good, comforting thoughts and warm cup-of-tea wishes
17th-Oct-2005 09:51 am (UTC)
Thank you all so much for replying to my post.
Just having people out there who support me without even knowing who I am, means so much more to me than any of you will ever know.
I just have to keep reminding myself that I'll get through it, and I'll come out a stronger person because of it.

Once again, thank you all so very much!
<3 Lyndsey
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