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_Survivors_
A safe space to share stories and ask questions
I feel akward asking this question 
15th-Oct-2005 08:49 pm
Random: Romance Novelist at Work


I'm not really the survivor of any sort of rape, but when I was 12 an internet pedophile was after me, and I never reported it, or told my grandparents. To this day I regret it, because now I odntk now if he actually managed to lure some girl to him, and if I did it's all my fault, and thats someting I dont like to think about.

But I am hear asking questions for another reason. I am here because last semester I took a sex education class and a police officer who tracks child molestors came in to talk to us, and show us how he tracks these sickos and arrests them. So, I asked him about these morons who make communites and write stories about incest, pedo, rape, etc. I asked him why that wasnt illegal and he told me because it falls under free speech. Which I assume is true, because its no different then somebody say writing Fred and Geroge Weasley incest, or whatever.

But, my question is, arent these communites where these...I dont want to say morons...but its the kindest word I can think, but in these communites where people support incest and they write stories abut having sex with children, isnt this ammunition for pedophiles, or 'recovering' pedophiles to start up their habbits again? Or to act on the impluses the story is giving them?

I'm asking this because I used to have a long distance relationship with a boyfriend, and he was just an average normal guy...but he would read these stories. God, he'd tell me about them, like a dad having sex with his 12 year old daughter etc. Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. He never acted on any of the storys he read, but doesnt reading him make him a pedophile as well?

This has always bothered me, and I've tried to forget all about it, but I cant. It makes me sick. I still like the guy, and I dont want to think of him as a pedophile...but...because he's read these stories, does it make him a pedophile, and if he hasn't acted on these stories yet, what can I do to help him, so he doesnt become one?

I'm sorry if this isnt the place to post this, and if it isnt, I do appolize. Any answers or advice you can give me, I'd be most grateful for.
Comments 
16th-Oct-2005 12:44 am (UTC)
By the way, I just want to say that I think its so brave of you to survive and go on. I cant even begin to imagine any of my relatives do that to me. I saw your user info and saw that you got married, congratulations for being able to go on with life.
16th-Oct-2005 01:18 am (UTC)
thank you very much. Though i did go on and get married and all that, i never did report. Your doing something that is important for several others like you. YOu are protecting others from being victimized. That is so so important. Im ashmamed that i never was able to do that. I simply didnt have the strength. SO cheers to you:) i dont even know you and im very proud.
16th-Oct-2005 01:22 am (UTC)
But I didnt report the Pedophile when I was 12 either, but I'd like to think I'm trying to help my friend by getting him help so he DOESNT turn into somebody that victimizes. Btw your Guinea pig is cute
16th-Oct-2005 01:26 am (UTC)
well, im your age, and I still havent reported anything. I wonder if its too late or if i do report, if it will ruin this new life and persona ive built.
thanks. quizno is now deceased, but i miss him so, and i keep his photo up. im looking to adopt anouther. I miss having animals to cuddle. I think it helped my healing too:)
16th-Oct-2005 01:27 am (UTC)
I saw his picture and sang the quizno's sub song. "eat quzino's suuubs, for they are good to us, eat quiznos suuubs
16th-Oct-2005 01:36 am (UTC)
ha ha. with the wierd little gerbil things? lol.
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