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_Survivors_
A safe space to share stories and ask questions
I feel akward asking this question 
15th-Oct-2005 08:49 pm
Random: Romance Novelist at Work


I'm not really the survivor of any sort of rape, but when I was 12 an internet pedophile was after me, and I never reported it, or told my grandparents. To this day I regret it, because now I odntk now if he actually managed to lure some girl to him, and if I did it's all my fault, and thats someting I dont like to think about.

But I am hear asking questions for another reason. I am here because last semester I took a sex education class and a police officer who tracks child molestors came in to talk to us, and show us how he tracks these sickos and arrests them. So, I asked him about these morons who make communites and write stories about incest, pedo, rape, etc. I asked him why that wasnt illegal and he told me because it falls under free speech. Which I assume is true, because its no different then somebody say writing Fred and Geroge Weasley incest, or whatever.

But, my question is, arent these communites where these...I dont want to say morons...but its the kindest word I can think, but in these communites where people support incest and they write stories abut having sex with children, isnt this ammunition for pedophiles, or 'recovering' pedophiles to start up their habbits again? Or to act on the impluses the story is giving them?

I'm asking this because I used to have a long distance relationship with a boyfriend, and he was just an average normal guy...but he would read these stories. God, he'd tell me about them, like a dad having sex with his 12 year old daughter etc. Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. He never acted on any of the storys he read, but doesnt reading him make him a pedophile as well?

This has always bothered me, and I've tried to forget all about it, but I cant. It makes me sick. I still like the guy, and I dont want to think of him as a pedophile...but...because he's read these stories, does it make him a pedophile, and if he hasn't acted on these stories yet, what can I do to help him, so he doesnt become one?

I'm sorry if this isnt the place to post this, and if it isnt, I do appolize. Any answers or advice you can give me, I'd be most grateful for.
Comments 
15th-Oct-2005 09:19 pm (UTC)
that would um bother me too. alot. if my boyfriend was reading shit like that, i would FLIP out on him. but thats just me. i would feel betrayed because m a survivor. porn is fine like i expect guys to like porn, what can you do. but i dont know if it ws a friend i would just laugh at him and be like you f-ing perv! but with a boyfriend its different. but if it makes you feel better he is probably not a pedophile. people read stuff like that because it is so taboo it makes it more ofa rush because of the negative emotions that are mixed in with it. if hes a normal guy he would probably be physically aroused by any kind of pornographically detailed story, but unless he reads stuff like that all the time, talks about it, buys videos, etc, i would not worry. but he should know how you feel. if heknows you are a survivor he should be more sensitive!
15th-Oct-2005 09:24 pm (UTC)
you know, it woudlnt of bothered me as much if it was like, you know, like I said, harry potter incest, or something, but for all I know, he could of been reading stories that guys or girls wrote from personal experience, and it scares me.

Personally, I wish people who wrote those stories were arrested, but thats just me.

It makes me glad tok now he probably isnt a pedophile, even if he isnt my boyfriend anymore, I just dont want him reading that garbage, you know?

It probably wouldnt of bothered me if that Pedophile hadn't tangled with me when I was 12 and because I never said anything, adn the fact that he could of never been caught, it doesnt set well with me.

It makes me feel better to know he pobably isnt a pedophile, thank you for taking time to answer me.
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