kaeti-a-go-go (snoggingbobross) wrote in _survivors_,

hi, i'm also new here. i thought i would share my story. it's probably triggering, so i'll put it behind a cut.

i was admitted into a psych ward after i overdosed in an attempt to take my own life. that whole series of events is another story.

i was molested and raped by a nightstaffer in the hospital. it was in the shower, very early in the morning. i was on line of sight 24 hrs, so i slept in the dayroom and couldn't sleep. i wasn't actually supposed to take a shower in the morning, but the staffer made an exception for me. the door was cracked by protocol. he turned the water off and managed to pin me in a corner. the rest of the night staff were in the dayroom watching dvds and not to be bothered. i didn't scream or shout, and just kind of froze. i didn't even process the fact that the bastard penetrated me for months.

as soon as i was admitted home (a few months later) i saw the boy who would later be my boyfriend and i remember mumbling meaningless crap about the guy, except nothing made sense and life went on. i later told that boy the story, but it was a really bad time and he broke up with me.

after the hospital event, two other occurances have happened, but i wasn't raped. the first was when i was really high and my friends were still in the restaurant we had just eaten at. i somehow ended up going to this random guy's house and he pulled a knife on me and had me against the wall. i kneed him or something and ran. i was so screwed up that i only remember that i realized that i had ran out with the guy's beer (?!) and found a payphone to call my friends.

the second time i was jumped, in broad daylight and on a busy street, by a guy trying to pull me into his car. i was perfectly sane and sober, and a little experienced with my new self-defense classes and karate. i managed to get him off me and run. my mother's clinic was a block away.
Tags: hospitalization, introductions, rape, rape: stranger

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