I am soo annoyed.. i just wrote for ages and then lost it.. bugger bugger...
I just read that it is incredibly rare for an abuser to strike once.. insteas they normally have between 50- 100 victims...
that's a scary thought!
I am feeling very frustrated and agry today. i was having a look at some of the pics that my grandma ( dad's side) sent up to dad.
they were of peter( my step- grandfater) with arabella.. my new cousin. She's likee 14 years youngest than the youngest cousin( and new blood) I am so scared that he is going to get to her. She's only 3 months old but i just know that he is gonna get to her. it's another available chance.. that he is destined to take.
the abuse on this side of the family is voyerism, ( the perp is a peep and get's off on it during the peeping act or afterwards) and even tho it isn't abuse thro touch, it is still abuse. And it's sooo bloody sneaky and it shits me to tears.
As in most cases, it is still not talked about on this side of the family, even tho all of my aunts have said something to my nan about it. She of course is being a fairy about the whole bloody thing and refusing to belive any of them. So, it wont be any different when i get down there and get this last confrotation out of the way. I'm not going to be believed. i'm not. And i dont expect to be.
What hurts me the most is that i actually care about my dad's mum.. she was my fav. nan when i was younger. but she isn't gonna give a shit and put yet another kid in harms way. It makes me so angry. I wish i could do something to change her mind, but i can't. but i have to go down there and tell her ( and him) myself. i have to. i am not scared of them and neither will i be intimidated by him. even if he just knows that i rememeber, then that is good enough for me.
i keep telling myself that at least my kids will have one decent set of grand parents. not like me. lucky buggers. < /lj-cut>
Ahhhh.. that's enough from me..