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_Survivors_
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Update from last night 
13th-Aug-2005 01:25 am
First off, the five hours of sleep I got weren't sleep. I was reliving my day, that part of it, over and over and over. It didn't feel like I was sleeping...it felt like I was there over and over. I was tossing and turning a lot in my sleep...I even woke up kinda on all fours at one point. :( Yeah...

The first person I called was very uncomfortable talking to me, I could tell. She said there was nothing they could do, so they gave me another number. I called that number and this lady answered and I explained the situation...total silence. I was like "hello? are you there?" She said in a kinda discusted voice"yeah, I am, but there is nothing here for "that" sort of thing." I told her the place I had called before had given me this number, and...she cut me off and said "they may have given you this number, but there is nothing here for "that sort of thing". After that, I layed down on my bed, in a fetal position and just silently cried. I felt so helpless and ashamed...and scared and alone.

After that...I had things to do. It's too late to take the morning after pill though. I don't know what I'm going to do really. Tomorrow I'm going to buy a pregnacy test kit. Then Monday I'm going to call the doctor's again and find out about STD testing. I may talk to the guy too...find out some things...about STD's and yeah. I REALLY don't want to see him again though. Uhg...it still feels like a part of me died yesterday. A couple of my scrapes did actually scar over...I wish the were gone and I'm glad I didn't really slice myself because I don't want scars reading "whore" on my stomach. I have no idea what is going to happen next. I'm just trying to deal and be strong, and make sure I'm taken care of...I feel like I'm kinda lost though
Comments 
(Deleted comment)
13th-Aug-2005 09:04 pm (UTC)
I thought about that, but I don't know if they'd accept me or even see me within a few hours. I'm mean it wasn't rape. It was a girl messing around and when it got too far she didn't say no...I don't think they'd see me right away, if at all.
13th-Aug-2005 04:02 am (UTC)
...and make sure I'm taken care of...

This definitly is the most important thing right now.

You do need help, you need to talk to someone about it and you need to see a doctor. Call your doctors office or a hospital or something. It doesn't matter as long as you get all the help you need...and you know it's not just about the medical or physical help.

Be strong, okay?

Josh
13th-Aug-2005 09:02 pm (UTC)
I told my sister today. She is only 15, so she obviously can't do anything. But, it's nice having someone know. Then, tomorrow, I think I'm going to tell my youth pastor and his wife...they may actually have a way to help me, I dunno. Then, on Monday, I think I'm probably going call the doctor's and see if I can schedule an appointment for STD testing.

Bleh...

I'm trying to be. Thank you. ^_^ ::hugs::
(Deleted comment)
13th-Aug-2005 08:58 pm (UTC)
::hugs:: Thank you so much. Do you have MSN? I have MSN and I use a yahoo messenger(the yahoo is my mom's, I use it).
13th-Aug-2005 03:39 pm (UTC)
Please just keep taking care of yourself, even if those people aren't helpful...

BTW, the morning-after pill is helpful if it's taken within three days. The sooner the better, of course, but it can still help after the literal morning-after.

Talking to the guy may be helpful when it comes to STDs, just be careful, okay? Also, he might have some even if eh says he doesn't.
13th-Aug-2005 08:52 pm (UTC)
Oh really? Is it? I wish I had known that. :( The lady I talked to said I had to take it within 24hrs. Tomorrow will have been three days, but the doctor's office is closed tomorrrow.

I am taking care of myself though. I'm 99% positive that I'm going to call the doctor's tomorrow and find out about STD testing. Thank you for helping. ::hugs!:: ^_^
14th-Aug-2005 05:13 pm (UTC)
Go immediately to the emergency room, if you've not yet had it taken care of. They might be able to get you emergency contraception, still. Failing that, you might try calling Planned Parenthood. They are better than many other places for options.

Do not wait on testing for STDs. That's really necessary. They also may have something for you at emergency for that. The sooner the better if you are not sure.

-Dira-
14th-Aug-2005 10:36 pm (UTC)
I don't know the phone number for Planned Parenthood. I tried looking for it, but I couldn't find it. I'm going to call my doctor's office tomorrow and find out about testing.

Thank you for your help. :)

::hugs::
15th-Aug-2005 10:22 am (UTC)
That's worth dumping the dollar fifty or so for the call to information.

If it's a problem doing it from home, take a handful of change to a payphone....

Glad to help.

-Dira-
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