December 13th, 2006

(no subject)

Need a break. Lost sample. Drug died. Boss told me to start it all over at 5pm. Told him I need time to study. He says "What will you learn at this point anyway". I cried in front of boss...and he just keeps talking about how I will react this and that then MALDI it then blah blah blah just work another 7 days straight and we will get this bullshit. Doesn't even acknowledge that I am in tears.

Sometimes I don't want to be here in grad school.

I'm trying not to be very depressed.

I feel like I dont have much time for anything beyond chemistry and lab right now...except I have these huge emotions welling up inside me that I NEED time to deal with, or just time to rest so that they don't seem so big.

Sometimes this seems like the best gig ever and sometimes it feels like fucking shit and I want to quit.