November 3rd, 2006

Dan/Emma trl ;; actors

(no subject)

Today is my three months no cutting.
I have never gotten this far.. ever. 
And yet I'm not that excited.. I don't know why for some reason I just feel numb inside. 
Shouldn't I be more excited? And I can't even tell my parent's about it, I'm scared as to what they will say..


okay. well noone other than people on this know i was abused and raped for many years. Noone here probably cares because its full of people unfortunate like me. I'm afraid to say to anyone that really knows me about it incase they judge me, blame me or even worse, don't believe me.
Theres this girl in my year who obviously has problems with something. She's always at the guidance teachers office, crying or looking real depressed. I always wonder if her problems are like mine, or if something much worse has happened, but i would never ask because i wouldn't want to interfere because i hate it when people do that with me. So, today i was talking to her and she was wearing a skirt which she NEVER wears. I commented on it, saying it was a nice change and she told me the reason she never wears it is because of her "scratches" and she showed me them, obviously cutting scars. I told her i don't wear a skirt either because i had scars and she asked, "what from"?
I kind of replied, "Ohh nothinggg" and she said "yeah, same here" as if she knew what i was talking about. And for that short moment, it was like there was some truth about us, as if we had told each other all our secrets because after she said that it was as if i could relate to her completely. I just found it weird how you feel uncomfortable with telling someone your secret, when probably there are people around you going through the same thing.
Don't you agree?