November 2nd, 2006

Hey guys, I haven't been on in a while.. How is everybody?

Sorry I haven't been on much, I have a lot of catching up to do in this wonderful community now. I just am not sleeping tonight, and I was thinking. I think way too much sometimes, and other times, not enough.

10 years ago, even 5 years ago, even 1 or 2 years ago, if someone had told me this is what my life would be like now, I would have said they were insane.

But like holy crap.

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Okay, this has gone a bit off topic from what I started it as... what I started off say was I'm practically the opposite of what I had thought/hoped to be when I was a kid. 10 years ago, I never thought I'd date who I date, fuck who I fuck, do what I do for a living, spend time doing the things I do. Sometimes I can't get over how different it is, and I'm always either in awe or smiling, or both.

A LOT of llusions have been dispelled. Reality has hit me, sorta full force I guess.

Does anyone else feel the same way?

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I draw a lot of strength from music and lyrics. There are many different works that have given me many different things. This album, Ani DiFranco's "To the Teeth" is an album that has and still does give me a great deal when I am in a period of waking up and rebuilding myself. When I am pulling myself out of a depressive or angry period it reminds me of what matters in life. I don't like all of her music, but a good half of it continually reminds me of what I have to let go and how I have to grow. Check out these lyrics if you like. Back Back Back is always the most inspiring to me. Find the album if the words strike you. The music is amazing. I hope this gives some of you a little of what it gives me.