November 1st, 2006

Just a thought...

I watched "An American Haunting" the other night, with Francis. Even though it was based off of a true story, it had very symbolistic meaning to me.

At first the "demon", or "evil spirit", attacks the girl in the movie. Then, throughout the movie, she sees this little girl that looks like her, but younger. She's black and ugly. She doesn't really exist. Later in the movie the "demon" starts attacking the father, and toward the end of the movie he is "haunted" by this ghost-like figure of his daughter. Then, the "demon" shows the mother that the father has done those terrible things to their daughter. He abused her. He dies at the end of the movie, and the "demon" leaves. The black ugly girl becomes pretty. They say, later in the movie, that the girl (the daughter) somehow did this as a defense mechanism.

Bear with me, I'm getting to the point. =P

To me, this was very symbolistic to the mindset of a sexual abuse victim. Maybe every sort of abuse, but sexual and verbal abuse is my personal experience. We all seem to be "infected" with this sort of "demon", in a sense. After our abuse we see ourselves like that little girl. A lot of the time we still see ourselves as that little child, but we're ugly, dirty, ashamed, and isolate ourselves. We beat ourselves the way the "demon" beat the girl in the movie. Sometimes we just abuse ourselves mentally or emotionally. It can escalate to suicide, self-mutalation, or even purposely putting ourselves back into our situation of abuse. We do this to ourselves because we feel that is all we deserve. Then, we wish we could hurt our abusers the way the "demon" beat the father in the movie. We want them to hurt the way we do. We want justice. Sometimes, when the abuser has a concience (if that's possible), he/ she feels "haunted" by what they did, or whom they did it to. The way the father was "haunted" by a ghost-like figure of his daughter. Then, when we feel we got justice, or we know they're dead, and we realise it isn't our fault, we're able to let go. That child isn't ugly, bad, and dirty anymore, and you're able to let them go and love yourself.

Maybe I read too much into the movie, but for some reason it ment this much to me. I think it could only have this kind of meaning to someone who has been through abuse.