October 17th, 2006

(no subject)

I previously posted about having an awkward discussion and breakdown with my girlfriend again, a discussion I worried would push us back into our old patterns of shutting down. Wonderfully, we both seem to be working against the same old same old. We worked opposite schedules the day after, and then the next day she was still making it a point to be as affectionate as she could. It made me feel valued.

And then....she wakes me up at 3am jumping on the bed telling me she got us tickets to see the Indigo Girls! I was so incoherent and she sat on me and started talking 90 mph about how she just got the tickets for us online at 3am, lol. There were 50 left.

So......WE ARE GOING TO SEE INDIGO GIRLS AT 6PM TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!! yep, in Ithaca! I have never seen them but always wanted to. Now my list of everyone I have really wanted to see will be narrowed down to one! I've seen Melissa Ferrick, kd lang, Ani Difranco, soon the Indigo Girls...now all that is left is Melissa Etheridge....and anyone I may discover in the future.

My girlfriend is the sweetest thing!

Just wanted to share something happy.
Bear

Weekly thought stirring question: Masks (PUBLIC Version)

Something that many of us talk about here in _survivors_ is the feeling that after our abuse, we have to wear different masks to make it through social situations or to feel at ease in our relationships. Often, the feeling is that we must put on a mask of happiness to cover up all the sadness, anxiety, and triggers we experience everyday.

Many of us feel that we cannot burden those who know us with the truth of what we've experienced, while other times it's simply a matter that we don't want to talk about it or that we just want to feel happy more often. Most often, the feeling of wearing a mask is a negative one - like we cannot be our true selves, or that we spend our lives pretending to be someone else.

However, the imagery of a mask can also become a powerful therapeutic tool for practicing the feeling of confidence or self-esteem when harnessed properly. Many people can attest to how certain clothes can change the way you feel - from making you feel tough and empowered or gentle and vulnerable. Imagining a mask of a particular personality trait can do something similar. For instance, if you're in a situation that you need to get through it, and you have a limited amount of energy left, imagining putting on a "warrior's mask" can help you feel confident enough in your strength to get through

Since you know that wearing a mask is only temporary, it can be used to great effect when you really need to channel some energy for a short period of time. Another great use of a mask imagery would be the "caretaker mask" - putting on the mask of caretaker to care for yourself when your support network is away.

So, this week's questions will focus on both the negative and positive feelings associated with masks:

- Do you feel that you wear masks at times?
- If so, do you have any masks that feel negative or like they keep you from being who you truly are?
- Do you use the idea of a mask to bring out or give you confidence in your abilities?

Bonus Question:
- If you don't use masks as a means to help you cope, how could you utilize that image to help yourself?