October 11th, 2006

(no subject)

Yeah. Maybe because I was doing my journaling and maybe not. But I'm a little down right now. I was writing about all the things that were taken away from me because of the abuse. Then I got angry because he/they took *me* away. I feel like a ghost. I feel like and empty shell. I feel lifeless.

In the resturant the lady came over and I was suddenly overcome with a need. I wanted to hug her across her belly and just cry. Like a kid. I feel like a kid a lot. Even though I forced to grow up quickly to be "the adult", I still feel like a whinny kid a lot. Like I was halted at that age. When all that shit started happening.

Goshdarnit....I wanna just cry. My gf is no where near and I need her right now. I just need a hug and a cry.......

*&&*^*&*(&(* when will I be happy......