July 30th, 2006

hey guys

for a little good news i'm still kickin my bf didn't go camping with us which turned out going to a house instead but either way he wasn't there  i'm really relived .sad but true............ well instead of going camping we all went back to my grandma's house cause she was out of state and we needed a place to stay it turned out to be a goodnight  one of my friends jessie came over and his friend rob i haven't seen them in for ever... jessie and i have this really weird connection with eachother which is really hard to excplain there where 8 of us there 4 gurls 4 boys weird how it just happend like that cause it was just going to be four of us but then there was 8 we all drank i got really drunk and depressed  and i guess i kept walking and running down the middle of the road jessie came and got me and would bring me back half the time i was trying to resist i didn't wanna go back then i guess i locked myself in the bathroom kissing the porclin my friends freaked cause i guess they were yelling at me to open the door or even to just talk but i wouldn't respond so tiff (a really close friend)  and jessie brooke the screen and tiff was half way in and i started just yelling at her to get out and not come in so she backed off and jessie climbed in i don't know what all went down after that but what was like the best thing of the night was that jessie and i talked for a good 4 hours not including the time he was chasing me or holding my hair but i got to know him a hundered times better  another thing i reliazed of the night me being drunk and all is i wanna get my meds reduced if not takin off of a few of them b/c i'm not myself i don't share what i really feel about people when i'm on it so yeah that was a part of my wounderful nighti just wanted to stop by and let you all know i'm safe he wasn't there and nothing bad happend