July 1st, 2005



I think this is the right community for me! I grew up in a dysfunction alcoholic dad with controlling, blackmailing mother. Was molested as a child by a family friend. And managed to snag a guy with problems to get pregnant by. We tried getting back together in 2003 which lasted till 12/31/04 when he went on another tantrum about how I don't care about him because I haven't lost 60 pounds, gotten the house organized, etc. He told me I had to come down to his place on the weekends with our daughter or he would not give me any support with our daughter. I couldn't call him for help or to come up to her ballet. So I suffered through the verbal abuse, the intense badgering and pressure for sex but finally last weekend I had enough. He's been sending me horrid emails all week and calls.

From what I've told mental health professionals they think he's a sex addict, alcoholic, has control issues and is narcissistic personality disorder. I'm going to see a counselor that does EMDR next week and am working with a counselor every week. But I need support in this recovery. He was the only support I had and it seemed like he was a caring person but slowly the abuse started creeping in. Now I need to recover from him and my parents!

(no subject)

maybe this is just a random thought, but lately i've been thinking that rather than sitting here crying and wishing that i could be different, or that i could somehow change what happened. i'm going to accept what happened and find a way to help other people.

there's this site that i always go to, its now affiliated with amnesty international, and i'm sure you're all familiar with their good humanitarian work. The site is called Care2 and there's a section where you can 'click to donate' for a number of really good causes. one in particular is aimed at generating support for amnesty to help stop violence against women.
here's the link :


i hope you guys check this out, i think if we all got together we could make a really big difference.
thank you!