fxdupprincess (fxdupprincess) wrote in _survivors_,
fxdupprincess
fxdupprincess
_survivors_

Why am I such a loser and how do I change that if possible?

I went to my therapist today, and left feeling horrible. Well, actually, I was keeping my head up for a while, and then I started to feel down. She said basically that my idea of what to do with my life is impractical, and that I really need to go to a guidance counseling service for it. I have an intense fear of going and being judged by the counseling service. I don't really know what to do with myself, because I feel like I'm not doing anything right with my life. I was feeling fine with what I was doing with my life until my parents got upset that I wasn't making money. It's not for lack of meaningful activity, I am really reaching people and improving things. I am not making an after-college wage right now, and I am feeling really inadequate and rather retarded for not doing that right now. It's extremely hard to find a job that fits my qualifications, but I haven't gotten past the resume stage because of how much my emotional problems get in the way. I feel like such a loser.
I know that what I need to do is to get a job in my field, but I'm being really lame and childish about it. Why am I being my own worst enemy?
Tags: depression
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