so, if you couldn't figure out by my very, very weird ramblings earlier, I'm ... very, very out of it. I went to the ER tonight. I'm home again, but I don't know how long that's going to last.
I want to stay here, but ... I don't know if that's possible. :/ It might just be safer for me to go back to hospital yet again and be somewhere where it's not possible to off myself or do anything stupid.
The colors are still not making sense. For the confused, it's not that I can't see colors any more, it's that they don't register in my brain. Like, I know that the "forum rules" heading is colored... but I really couldn't tell you, other than from memory, what it is. And my memory is shot right now. Thinking hurts, I'm far, far too disassociated to do anything other than basic thoughts, like typing.
Please keep me in your thoughts. I know it's a lot to ask for, but I really, really appreciate it.