lvetodaylez (lvetodaylez) wrote in _survivors_,

Pap Smear and Trauma

About three months ago I went to a nurse practitioner with the hopes of getting a pap smear done but alas with about 4 tries with each of them ending with me crying and saying, "No, no, no" the nurse practitioner felt it was best for me to not get the pap done that day and come back for a new appointment another date but next time she would prescribe a Xanax or something similar.

I had to go to tmy primary doctor yesterday for an infection in my arm..eww. I updated them on the fact that I was taking birth control (even though I plan on stopping very soon). I was trying to get generic for my Loestrin 24 birth control or something similar to it but my doc said there wasn't a generic for it and that if my primary reason for taking BC is to clear up my skin, I should be taking Orthotricylen. She made out a prescription for it and said she would only make it for 3 months and that she wants me to get a pap smear.
My mom brought up that I don't use tampons and my doctor says, "If my 13 year old can do it, you can do it too." I have tried tampons in the past but since I have such issues with just doesn't work.

I want to get the pap smear done, just in case there might be problems with my reproductive system I am unaware of but it seems like I am having a hard time finding someone who can be supportive. The nurse practitioner was pretty understanding, IMO. She offered Xanax but I wonder if it would be too much to ask for something stronger.

I was raped and molested as a child and I just can't handle penetration without having flashbacks of the events. I made note of the molestation and rape in my patient information for my nurse practitioner but it never came up when I tried to get the pap smear.

Does anyone have any tips on how I can bring this up to the nurse practitioner?
If there is any way I can be knocked out completely for the pap, I would prefer it because I just don't think a Xanax will be strong enough to control the involuntary contraction of my muscles in that area.


Tags: abuse: csa, ob gyn appointment, seeking opinions

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