jen_oh (jen_oh) wrote in _survivors_,

Ohhhhhh shit

I feel like I am in so far over my head and will never get over this.  Halloween will be the first anniversary of my rape.  well, technically, November 1st, but I was coming home from a halloween party so I consider it halloween.  I'm not a big anniversary person and normally I don't think i'd be so freaked out, but goddamn it.  costumes and candy and fucking parades everyone...i feel like it's all there to remind me.  i hate it.

anddddd i have just decided to pursue legal action against my rapist (who is now continuing to harrass me).  on the one hand, i am so much stronger this year than last, and i am proud of myself for taking this step.  on the other, it's just so damn hard.  and part of me wonders if i should be doing this at all, or if it's just going to make the hell last longer.

i wish i could just move on.  i'm just not sure how to do it..
Tags: anniversaries, legal

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