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_Survivors_
A safe space to share stories and ask questions
Nightmare and need someone to talk to 
20th-Oct-2008 05:45 am

I just woke up from a nightmare that my father raped me at knife-point and cut up my face. As brutal as he could be, he never used weapons on me.

But the dream was so vivid, so real. I woke up so full of hatred for him that I was shaking with it. I'm still shaking, and I'm not sure if I'm cold or just emotional or what.

I thought I was past the hatred.

I guess not.

I wish I could wake up somebody and talk without anybody touching me. I don't think I can handle being touched right now, but I need someone to talk to.

I'm confused and scared and everything I see reminds me of my father's cruelties. My own hands look like his to me right now. I'm staring at the screen to avoid watching my hands type.

If anybody's online at this unreal hour, I'm arquenniel on Yahoo! Messenger and desertrosedark on AIM.
Comments 
20th-Oct-2008 01:26 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you had such a terrible nightmare. I think it was a night for bad dreams. I had a rape nightmare as well.

I'm trinideeheart on AIM if you'd still like to talk. Just let me know you're from this community.

Since you aren't up for touching, I send you very peaceful vibes and well wishes.
20th-Oct-2008 02:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
21st-Oct-2008 04:03 am (UTC)
So sorry to hear you had such a horrible nightmare, and that I had already gone to bed! ::big safe hugs::
21st-Oct-2008 06:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you. *big safe teddy bear hugs*
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