Innana88 (innana88) wrote in _survivors_,

new community for survivors of sexual assault within relationships

Hello everyone,

This community is amazing and thank you so much to the maintainer/mods for keeping it up. We need something like this.

I do like the fact that this is an open community for any survivor to join. But I've recently heard/read comments by people who don't feel that they are entitled to speak out about their experiences because so many others are so much "worse". Granted, there are types of assault that are physically more brutal, but the damage done to the soul doesn't reflect itself in external scars. I don't believe one type of abuse is any worse than any other for the specific reason that there are some people who feel alienated from the rest of us by that type of categorization (people who have been traumatized by 4th degree CSC without penetration)

I know there are many people out there who have experienced a similar type of abuse that I have: intimate sexual assault (sexual assault within the context of an intimate relationship). Survivors of domestic violence have different experiences and needs do than those of acquaintance sexual assault, than do those of acquaintance assault, than do those of intimate sexual assault, than do those of stranger assault. And while I do absolutely believe it is imperitive that we all, all survivors, join together to support each other and to stop this phenomenon from continuing, I do also believe that there are some people out there who don't feel they can voice their experiences because they don't know of anyone else who has experienced what they have. I have created a new community for survivors of intimate sexual violenceforcedlove

I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend, who then became my fiance over a period of two years. It most often occurred while I was sleeping. I'd awaken to find him on top of /inside me. When I said I didn't like it he'd say one of two things: either he was "sleepfucking" and wasn't aware of what he was doing or, if I persisted, that I was making him feel like a horrible person like his parents (who were neglectful/abusive) had made him feel. I'd feel guilty and shut up, thinking I should be there to support him. He did many other things as well: public humiliation and deliberate emotional neglect that was random and definitely played apart in the whole learned helplessness phenomenon that plays a large role in why abused people stay with their abusers. I believe that intimate sexual violence in many ways parallels the psychological abuse of domestic violence and it is for this reason that I have created a community for us. Here we can release the shame and the guilt of why we stayed with someone who raped us. Because the shame isn't ours. We were looking for someone to love and who would love us in return. Please, if this at all relates to you and you feel it would be helpful, join our community. It just started, we are small, but there are more of us out there than you could fathom. I know this as a result of my speaking publiclly on this type of assault and the numbers of women who have shared their stories with me. How many more have related that haven't yet had the courage to speak?

If you don't feel comfortable joining yet because it is so "type-specific." That's okay. You can also anonymously watch by creating a new username and just see the stories that others are ready to share. I commend anyone here just for taking this step to join ANY survivor community and seeking out others who can relate to you and support you. May you all be blessed on your journey to healing.
Tags: community promo, rape: intimate partner
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