I'm Just Me (dreamalwz) wrote in _survivors_,
I'm Just Me
dreamalwz
_survivors_



I've been told that dealing with the trauma of abuse gets worse before it gets better as more memories are being uncovered. Basically whenever I try to sleep I go right into the flashbacks. They're getting more intense, it's getter harder for her to wake me up to get out of them, my reactions in my sleep are more intense, etc. I got 2 hours of sleep last night as well as the night before because I was wide awake afraid to sleep after slight naps with these flashbacks. Do I just need to be prepared or something? How "worse" is the worst part? I'm sure it's different for everyone, but...having a breakdown and finally crying or what? I'm not ready for it if this is the "beginning of the worst." I don't want to go through it. Ignoring the entire situation worked just fine for now. Each time after these flashbacks I feel I have to take a shower and get clean. I've never had that feeling before. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed last night when I took a shower I had to be by myself (she didn't want to leave me alone due to ED behaviors). I couldn't look at her in the eye because I felt so dirty. I don't think she understood that level and took slight offense and maybe thought I didn't trust her or something.

Is there any way to make the flashbacks stop or lessen?

Is there any information for my partner to read about it? She feels so helpless and useless and bad that she can't do anything to help and stop them.
Tags: book suggestions, dreams, flashbacks, nightmares, seeking support
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