mariposa_bella (mariposa_bella) wrote in _survivors_,

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personal issue...

Okay, I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor or anything...  so i don't know if vaginismus is what i have or if it's something totally different... but aside from my abuse as a child, i've tried to have normal sex life with my husband.  in the almost 7 years we've been married, 99% of the time we have full sex, it hurts immensely.  i've worked hard to overcome my fears, and can't say i'm fully released to be a free sexual being, but i've come a long way....   and have learned to enjoy the feeling of small things in me (like a finger), but anything big (like his 'thing')....  hurts... a lot.  anyone else have this issue and or is familiar with this..... and has a solution?   or can at least validate me... i feel so 'broken'.    wisdom anyone?  after 7 years.... i feel like giving up.  and i thought after i gave birth, maybe that would help cuz it would widen me... but it didn't help.  my body hates me i think.  i just want it to feel good... for once.  sorry if this was too personal.... but i don't know what else to do.
Tags: seeking support, sex

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