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Just need some help. =( 
4th-Feb-2008 12:34 pm
Basically... I found some mold on a plant pot in my room, and freaked because I hate mold. I've been in this weird brain running laps in my skull, tingly crawly skin, eyes are focusing weird. Everything in the house that I look at seems so dirty and cluttered. I'm almost overwelmed by it.

Lost of energy and enxiety. I still don't have meds and psychologist is booked until March. I dunno if the hydroxycut is making my mania/ anxiety worse or not.

I haven't been myself for the past moth or so. I had a bad pinic attack about a week ago, that was before the hydroxyxut. I've been on hydroxyxut for four days, I've almost had another attack a couple days ago, but I talked myself out of it.

I watched Memuars of a Geisha last night before going to sleep which is stupid because I know there are parts in that movie that have triggered me before. They were a little upsetting last night.

I'm just frustrated, I don't understand this mood, I don't really know how to deal with it, and I need some help and advice.
4th-Feb-2008 09:52 pm (UTC)
I don't know the specific ingredients in Hydroxycut, but lots of diet pills increase your metabolism - which can increase adrenaline reactions - which can definitely make anxiety worse. Maybe try a day or two off of it until your anxiety level lowers?

I hate mold, too. When I find it, I end up freaked out and obsessively over-cleaning to get that weird skin-tingly feeling out. Any chance there's someone you know who could take the plant and clean off the pot for you? Since you're still a month or so out until some relief from the psych appt, remember that it's okay to ask for some support - even if it's cleaning up something. Mold doesn't creep everyone out, so to someone else, that could be something easy (to them) that they could do to help you.

When I'm really wound-up and super, anxious, the best thing that helps me is just to consciously work on bringing the pace of life down. I put on soft, slow, comforting (not triggering at all) music, I turn the lights down, I put in a mellow, comforting movie, or just curl up with a book or poetry. The key is soothing more than one of your senses - so music and something to see, or a comfy blanket and a comforting smell. Comforting yourself on more than one sense at a time has a much greater impact.

Just remember, any time you feel yourself winding back up again inside, you can literally say, "Stop. Slow down." and take some breaths. Anything to break up that momentum as the anxiety builds can be a huge help.

And, though it will sound weird - drink lots of water. It can help flush out that feeling of anxiety.
4th-Feb-2008 10:09 pm (UTC)
"And, though it will sound weird - drink lots of water. It can help flush out that feeling of anxiety."

Seriously? I have a really big problem staying hydrated, do you think that could aggravating my anxiety issues?
4th-Feb-2008 11:14 pm (UTC)
I know that if your body is under physical stress (being overly tired, being in pain, being dehydrated), that your body can have a bigger emotional reaction to a situation.

I know that for me, the days I don't drink a lot of water, I tend to be far more easily triggered into panic attacks. My neuropsych told me about drinking more water (it can help flush out the panic chemicals after a panic attack), and it helps me a lot.
4th-Feb-2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
Hmmmmmm. :)
5th-Feb-2008 03:36 am (UTC)
I think the main problem was the freakish amount of caffine in the hydroxycut. It was the equivalent to three cups of coffee per pill. They were all natural forms of caffine, but it was still caffine.

Just a grande from starbucks has too much caffine for me to handle. So... I'm definitely stopping the hydroxycut.

Thank you for all of your advice. I'm definitely going to use it. I've been drinking a ton of water anyway because of the hydroxycut, but I guess I'll keep it up to see if it helps me out.

So... lotsa water, no caffine! =)
4th-Feb-2008 10:16 pm (UTC)
I don't really know anything about meds, but I think Sistahraven could be right. Diet pills used to be essentially anphetamines; obviously not anymore but I would imagine they still work in a similar way, by raising your heart rate and metabolism, which could be aggravating your anxiety, so maybe try a few days off to see if it helps, as S. suggested.

I can relate to that "Skin crawling with nervous energy but nowhere for it to go" feeling. Maybe try some (gentle, in a safe environment) exercise? Or you could pick small house cleaning tasks to work on. Don't try to do the whole thing at once, so you don't feel overwhelmed, but doing one small thing like hoovering or sorting the dishes out might make you feel a bit calmer. I find if my room's full of clutter it really affects my mood, but if I try to tidy the whole thing it makes me feel even worse, but if I do one or two small things, like make my bed and clear up my old coffee mugs, I feel better.

I can *really* relate to trying to relax at night by watching a film and winding up triggered. I find it helps to watch something *really* safe (like a bit of a Disney movie, a Friends episode) straight afterwards so that's the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep.

Oops I wrote you a novel! :p Anyway I just wanted to send you some support and a couple strategies that work for me, just in case they might seem helpful to you too <3
5th-Feb-2008 03:30 am (UTC)
lol. Thank you very much it was a little helpfull.

I think the main problem was the amount in caffine in the hydroxcut. I only took one pill today... I'm supposed to take three a day. I react REEEEALLY badly with caffine.


Thank you for all your advice. =)
5th-Feb-2008 08:04 pm (UTC)
I love/hate that movie. It's such a beautiful movie, beautifully told, but parts of it really trigger me, too. I can't watch the part where she recieves the kimono. I come close to having panic attacks.

*safe hugs*
5th-Feb-2008 08:10 pm (UTC)
That's the part that always gets me too. =(

::safe hugs back::
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