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Has anyone else developed irrational fears due to abuse and… 
25th-Jan-2008 07:54 am

Has anyone else developed irrational fears due to abuse and trauma, even from events you can't really recall?

Since about the age of 14/15 I've had issues with particular sounds, namely anything that I consider makes a noise similar to if you stir up mayonaise. I have NO idea why I freak out. I didn't realize how bad it got until last night. My friend was playing with a squishy ball thing and it made that noise and I started having a panic attack so close to tears due to that noise. I can't figure out why and it's bugging me. Who has a fear of the sound of mayonaise!? Sheesh. I huge fear of going to the dentist and I figured out why by connecting the dots after I read part of a recovery book. Anyway, I just wanted to know if I was alone in this odd irrational fear thing? Including places, objects, etc.
25th-Jan-2008 04:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, no, you're not alone at all.

I had an irrational fear/hatred of electronic alarm clocks with red LEDs through high school and most of college. Though it seems simple now, I recall that it took me a couple of those years to figure out: my abuse took place in the mornings with my abuser using the excuse of waking me up... so I didn't have to use my red LED electronic alarm clock.

It *is* possible to work through that kind of fear eventually. I have a cute little purple iMac-shaped red LED electronic alarm clock on my nightstand right now, and only occasionally remember that I used to hate and fear them. When I do remember, I mainly feel pride that I've been able to work through that. I don't want to make it sound like it's an easy or fast process, though; I'm about 15 years past college. :-)
25th-Jan-2008 05:01 pm (UTC)
with me, theres a smell I associate with an abuse when I was a child. I cant describe it other then... bologna or cheap hotdogs or almost like spam cooking. its a weird scent.

My other scent that I hate (but doesnt trigger me which is amazing) is inscense. doesnt matter what 'flavor' it is either. and thats from abuse as a teen.
25th-Jan-2008 06:13 pm (UTC)
On a mod note, this is very appropriate to ask, so that's no problem at all. However, I do need to ask that you please put this behind a cut, with a trigger warning of "cut for talk of fears and panic attacks due to triggers and past abuse".

And no, you're not alone in this.

26th-Jan-2008 04:17 pm (UTC)
I used to have panic attacks at the word "Compromise". I actually got so mad at my current boyfriend once that I told him never to use that word again.

The most important thing to remember is to not give yourself a hard time about what you're panicking about. It send the wrong message to your brain. Maybe you feel the sounds of mayonnaise seems like a really silly thing to be panicking about, but you are panicking about it. Try to be nice to yourself when you do :) ♥
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