waitingonsnow (waitingonsnow) wrote in _survivors_,

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All Drugged Up

I've been suffering from PTSD for years, now, and have recently been undergoing some heavy-duty therapy to help it. My depression has taken a turn for the worst, of late, and I've been lapsing into my old self-destructive habits, so my therapist wrote to my doctor about the possibility of my taking meds.

Now, I hate psychiatric medication. Haaaaaate. I've been on four types of antidepressants in the past and had really bad reactions to three of them - and the fourth (remeron) had me sleeping 16 hours per day and literally eating bags of sugar. But I've felt so awful, of late...I think I'd do anything to not feel this way. So I agreed to give it a try.

And my doctor put me on Effexor, and Valium. I've been on Valium before, and it's really a "take as needed" thing, so that's not worrying me too much. But Effexor - I've heard it's a little shifty. I read the sheet about it on crazymeds.com, and it scared the hell out of me. I'm really worried about putting on even more weight - vain, I know, but I'm already >200lbs, and getting fatter isn't going to make me less depressed. I also don't want to be sleeping all the time/glazed over - I hate that drugged feeling so much, I think I'd rather deal with fighting off the urge to cut/kill myself.

So I ask - has anyone had experience with this med, in relation to trauma-associated symptoms? I could really use some first-hand accounts. :/
Tags: medication
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