artzgirl1987 (artzgirl1987) wrote in _survivors_,
artzgirl1987
artzgirl1987
_survivors_

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Cutting Urges

 

I've been having urges all day so far. It started when I was shaving in the shower this morning. I was shaving over the scars on my legs and the urges started. I haven't SI in over a year, but the urges are strong today. I've been pretty stressed and depressed the past couple months, and I feel it trying to knock me down. I'm trying not to let it. It's hard fighting yourself. 

I'm at work right now, and I had to hang a picture. While I was TRYING to adjust it, it fell and scratched the inside of my wriste. It felt so good. I want more. I don't want to wash it because I like that tight feeling when it starts to dry. I can move my wrist in circles and it'll hurt.

I feel psychotic. No one should long to see their own blood, and long for the pain. I let the emotional pain out when I cut my skin open. It leaves real scars. I can't see the scars on the inside, but I can see these.

Trying to fight the urges off. I need support! =(

Tags: seeking support, self-injury
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