So. Posted about how the possibility that I'm bipolar was scary and crap - still is, honestly, but ... we'll come back to that.
Was in a horribly depressive mood last night, trying not to cut, etc etc. Tried using ice to snap out of the dissociative episode, came halfway back and got stuck [which hurts, BTW]. Was having major problems, was about to call Bill down just to be able to talk to someone when...
it was like someone threw a blanket over it. I was still having the urges, but they were controllable and dim, like a faraway memory. And THEN!
It was as if someone turned a switch from "down" to "up" - major energy rush, like I'd just drunk a liter of Mt. Dew and eaten a lot of chocolate [did neither], hyperness and not-depressed-ness, etc etc. And I DIDN'T WANT TO CUT. WOO.
So... uh, I think it's one of three things, or a combination:
1] I'm bipolar, and I just hit a high point
2] The Prozac finally flushed away
3] The Lexapro started working.
Also... about bipolar? It doesn't really bother me that much now. It's like I'm two different people!
Hunh. WHATEVER. I'm HYPER and I DON'T CARE.