Ashley (kurai_tenshi21) wrote in _survivors_,
Ashley
kurai_tenshi21
_survivors_

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So things have been rather busy with college and all. So far so good. But things with my mother and brother haven't. So I need to just talk I guess...
So the other night I get a call from my brother saying things at home went for a turn for the worst, saying my mother was doing the same thing to him as she did me. Kicking him out for a tattoo. This said, I also know what has been going on from what my mother has said weeks before. He had been abusing her, and treating her like shit, taking her money, and her pain medications to get high. He had also been doing heroin, and taking other various pills. Well then my father decided to move back in for a time with her because he needs help with his Parkinson's and Glacoma, but he can only stay there until he can get his medication straightened out. After that he leaves. This can only make matters worse because my brother doesn't get along with my father.
My brother came to where I am staying, I tried to figure out what was going on, and once I did. I told him to go back to mothers apartment and talk things out. Because he doesn't have a job, nor a car. - because my brother lost his job at Kroger, and my mother took the car keys away because he kept driving high.
So he can't support himself right now. And he doesn't want to end up like me, living off of SSI for the rest of his life. And then he left for where he used to live. And apparently things just went to hell. He attacked my mother because he wasn't getting his way. When he has been walking all over her for the past month- ever since he has gotten out of rehab. And apparently had her by the neck. That is when my father called the cops. And after they all made all there statements. my brother was arrested and taken to jail. He has a 5,000 dollar bail on his head. And I don't think anybody that knows him is going to pay it. With the way he has been acting.
But I do know where he learned it from. My parents. From watching them abuse me for the seven years that I lived there.

And then my mother wants to 'fix things'. I told her that we already tried this, and you went back to your old ways of lying to me, and using me as your personal punching bag. The only reason I would talk to her now is if it was over my grand parents will. Or is if it has something to do with my brother. That is all. And she has accepted it.

My friend brought up once she learned of my brother being in jail. Why don't I put my parents in jail? Because after all both my parents beat me, they screamed at me, and my father raped me on several different occasions. The reason why. Is because I was lead to believe that I deserved this abuse.This utter torture. That I  understand now is wrong.  But you see. It was only against me. Nobody else. They won't go out and harm others. Unless totally drunk out of there mind in which only happened once, and my mother was sent to rehab for a month.  After all the years of going through it. I got to watch them suffer in another shape or form of illness. My fathers Parkinson's and now Glacoma, and my mother's chronic daily migraines/headaches and eye problems of being visually impaired. Both being bi-polar.
So I got to suffer for seven years in there care. But they get to suffer for the rest of there life. With illnesses and knowing that they abused there only girl. Knowing that things with each other will never be the same again. Why send them to suffer in jail? When they are suffering enough already. Sure they deserve justice. But life is serving them enough justice as is. Soon there time will be served, and I will laugh at there funerals.

Sorry it was so long.
~ashley
Tags: family, substance/drug abuse
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