5/13/14 12:34 pm - destnd2b_alone - Just so angry
I have just been in a horribly angry mood lately.
I'm just MAD. I mean I still enjoy my job and love all the clients I work with. One of them is not my favorite and she is very loud, but she also takes a nap in the afternoon, so my day is pretty much made after that.
Buster and I have been getting into it constantly. He managed to once again ruin Mother's day for me. Which I figured he would.
He said he was going to make me breakfast in bed on Saturday, because he decided to work on Sunday., which I ended up working Sunday from 2-6 anyways so him and the kids were going to do Mother's day Saturday.
I wake up at 9:30 and Buster and his son John disappeared. Nobody knew where they went. Gabbie came in and said, " I thought Dad was making you breakfast in bed?" so did I!
He comes back at around noon and said he didn't know what time I was getting up and he decided to run some errands.
Then asked if I still wanted breakfast in bed.
Well, considering I hadn't eaten anything, waiting so see if he was still doing to do anything, I said sure. I can always eat breakfast anytime.
So he takes Gabbie to the store to get some stuff, and two hours later they come back. Then , he asks if I still want him to make me breakfast in bed. again I told him I hadn't eaten anything because I have been waiting on him. and he acts irritated and says, " well I guess I can go make you something."
So that was my " mother's day"
Gabbie picked out a rose from the store for me and she made me a card. HE didn't get me anything. no card. nothing.
Joshua told me he made me something at school in art class but it was going to be late.
Sunday Gabbie and I went to church and they passed out roses to the Mom's and afterwards I went to work from 2-6. My client Shelley's Mom flew down to FLorida to visit her Mom for Mother's day so I stayed to help Shelley's Dad feed her lunch and supper. She has cerebral palsy and has to be fed and bathed. She is the most physical client I have. She wears me out with all the lifting, but I have the most fun with her.
My poor kiddos wanted to do something special and do sweet things for me Sunday, but they were both having a horrible time with their allergies and felt sick. So when I got home from Shelley's, I ended up taking care of them. Buster worked his night time job once he got home from his daytime job. I was glad he wasn't home.
Sometimes I wish I never got remarried at all.
Most of the time I wish I never got remarried at all.
Unfortunately I don't think I could make the bills.
Sucks being stuck.
I'm just so mad lately.
I even started cutting again Saturday. It's so discreet, nobody even noticed.
Having an outlet you can get away with that nobody knows but you.
I wonder how long I can get away with it this time?
I'm still on my antidepressants too but they aren't helping with me being angry and mad.
I just want to hit something, HARD.
Reminds me of that line from Steel Magnolias Sally Fields used after the funeral.
LJ is the only place I can put stuff like this out here. The last time I posted any type of anger ridden post it got spread to way too many people on Facebook. I hate facebook now. It's like highschool. or worse, junior high. ugh.