Pairings: YooMin, HoMin, YunChun, JaeMin, MinSu, YooSu, YunSu (YooYunSu?), JaeHo
Rating: PG-15 I suppose.
Genre: CRACK. COMPLETE CRACK.
Summary: From the tour of DBSK's new apartment... Bloopers from that. XD;
Comments: Ah, crack. How I love you. This is mostly dialogue, but whateverrrr. &... *emos* I made a gif for the first blooper I wrote... But now I can't upload it, 'cause it's too big. XD; Oh wait. Yeah, kay, nevermind. It's really small, and it only plays once. *shakes head* Wtfkthx.
You could download it here, though, if you want to. ^^v
(new) The door opened, and the camera man walked inside. The members of DBSK were standing in the landing, grinning. Yunho, the band leader, and Jaejoong were moving back from the door, to make more room. As they did so, Yunho leaned towards Jaejoong, as if to give the older man a kiss.
"Hey, hey, what the hell was that, Yunho?!" An outraged Yoochun exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yeah, that was not cool," Changmin added, glaring.
Junsu wisely stepped out of the way of fire.
Yunho bit his lip. "Ummm--"
"I am sick and tired of this!" Yoochun stepped in front of the camera and spoke directly to the lens. "No JaeHo."
"Hear, hear!" Changmin squeaked, huggling Jaejoong's arm posessively.
"Now, since you almost kissed Jae, me and Min are going to make out on the couch!" Yoochun tugged on Changmin's sleeve, presumably in the direction of the living room. "C'mon."
"Cut, cut, cut," Jaejoong said, and grabbed Changmin's hand. "You come back here."
Changmin hopped up onto Yunho's bed, and Yunho reached out and patted the younger boy's bottom as he passed. Changmin stepped onto his own bed and looked back at the leader, looking scandalized. "Hyung!"
Yunho turned to the camera and shrugged, smirking.
"Oh! I can smell Yunho's scent here," Junsu exclaimed, then paused, leaning closer and sniffing again. "And... Yoochun's?"
The camera turned to a blushing Yoochun. He hid his face behind a pillow.
"Cut, cut!" Yunho shouted, waving his arms around.
Jaejoong was standing on the edge of Changmin's bed as they all turned to look out the window. Changmin grinned evilly at his reflection in the window, and stretched out one of his legs. Jaejoong lost his balance, tipped, and fell directly into Changmin's outstretched arms.
"You're heavy, hyung," Changmin said with a grin.
"Am not," Jaejoong replied, sticking out his tongue.
Changmin leaned down and bit the end of that tongue.
The camera man's eyes widened. He let out a strangled sound that sounded a lot like "Cut!"
"Ah, this room!" Yunho said.
"This is a so called 'The room of Secrets'," Yoochun explained.
"A room, it's a room."
"Yes, 'The Room of Secrets'."
"Right, 'The Room of Secrets'."
Yunho opened the door and peeked inside. "If you can guess it right," he said, closing the door, "we'll... Er..."
"Give you Junsu!" Yoochun said.
"Yes, we'll give you Junsu."
"What? Hey!" Junsu crossed his arms over his chest.
Jaejoong waved his arm around. "I want to guess! Yunho's porn collection!"
"Hey," Yunho said, "you're not allowed to guess, you've already seen it."
Junsu raised a hand. "Cut?"
"Now, what I'm going to show you are our dining table and living room," Changmin said, "first, the living room." He pointed to the couch. "Here is our sofa. We've spent many times out here while Yoochun and Yunho have been busy in the bedroom--"
"Now, what I'm going to show you are our dining table and living room," Changmin repeated, "first, the living room." He pointed to the couch. "Here is our sofa. Yes."
Jaejoong, Yunho and Yoochun sat on the couch.
"When watching TV," Changmin continued, "we always keep sitting like this. Just like this, not moving at all. Like a statue or something."
"Or trying not to listen to the bed frame hitting the wall~" Jaejoong singsonged, grinning.
"Here's the dining table," Jae said.
"The table we are proud of," Junsu added.
"This is made out of jade."
Yoochun asked, "Really?", as he sat down.
"This is all jade, all of it."
"This is where we have meals," Changmin said.
"This is also where Min and I have occasionally copulated," Jae continued, turning to the camera with a smile.
Yunho looked revolted. "My poor table! Cut!"
"Anyway, this room is only for Junsu and Changmin," Yunho said. He pointed towards the closet. "If you look in here, although we can't open now.. But here Junsu and Changmin--"
Yoochun walked over and opened the closet. "We can open it."
"It's well organized, neatly," Yunho said.
"You did a good job," Yoochun said.
"Changmin must've done well, though Junsu isn't good."
"I suppose Changmin has organized them all."
"I cleaned up too, look!"
"Didn't Changmin do it?"
"Look, look," Junsu said, pointing at his side of the closet.
"I saw you whipping him, making him do it for you--!"
"And we have a guardian here," Junsu said, pointing to a bear on Changmin's side of the work room. "This is our guardian."
"What is it?"
"Oh! The guardian's clothes are torn. It's ripped! What happened is..."
The camera focused on Changmin, who grinned. "I pretended it was Jae."
"Cut!" Jae said, poking Changmin with the edge of the keyboard.
"Our great tub! First I'll have you meet the bathtub. Our bathroom is as you can see..." Jaejoong said.
"--It has a problem--"
"The door can't be locked."
"The problem is that we have not only a bathtub in here... It's our place of focus, concentration. If the door can be opened at anytime..." Jaejoong opened the door, and stepped inside. He sat down.
"This small bathtub is, as many of you may know, a tub where you can get massages," Yunho said.
"It's quite nice," Yoochun added.
"Yeah," Jae said. "You and Yunho would know."
Junsu crawled up onto the counter and laid on his side.
"This is a place where you can find Junsu whenever he's upset," Yoochun said, resting a hand on Junsu's waist.
"No it's not," Yunho said, "this is where he comes when he wants a blow-job."
"Cut!" Jaejoong said.
-----***new one XD;
"Anyway, I don't know, don't know..."
"We hope you come again next time."
Jaejoong reached down and grabbed Yunho's hand.
"Next time you visit again, please say 'Welcome to TVXQ!'s quarters'. We'll happily open our door."
Changmin raised a hand and flicked Yunho's ear, and grabbed Jaejoong's arm. "Hahahahaa. No. Mine."
Jaejoong let go of Yunho's hand quickly.
The camera man sighed. "Cut."
PS. I've got a chaptered fic that I'm writing that I need a beta for... Anyone interested? Because it'd be muchly appreciated.