Pairing: Jaemin (jaejoong/changmin)
Genre: Fluff, Romance, Drama
Description: Jaejoong is a Korean Transferee at a prestigious school in the outskirts of San Francisco. Changmin is a high school student under the high school department of that same university. Jaejoong felt out-of place, Changmin blended in just fine. Jaejoong had no friends, Changmin had many. Nobody knew Jaejoong, Everyone knew Changmin. It's strange how fast the tables can turn. But in the end, no amount of friends or popularity can replace the other. Though things might have turned out a little too messy by the time they realize this.
A/N: I'm so sorry this took me for so long, School is really...really keeping me busy these days. I guess I'll only get to update during weekends from now on. Rarely during weekdays, only if I'm lucky.
By 10 in the evening, Kyuhyun and Jessica were sprawled across the floor, deep in slumber and knocked out from all the soju shots they’ve taken. It was still raining outside and it was the perfect kind of weather to just lie down, close your eyes, and loose yourself to the sound of water droplets pitter-pattering on the dorm window.
Changmin was still awake. He hadn’t taken any more than 2 or 4 shots of soju, since he was too worried that no one would be left sober enough to take care of whoever dropped drunk. And like he had predicted, here he was, getting to his feet, preparing for a night spent dishwashing and dragging his friends to the bed. It was troublesome work, yes, but he still couldn’t hide the smile that crept up the corners of his lips.
It was a fun evening, he concluded.
Kyuhyun had been more than entertaining and he was just infinitely grateful to that boy. He loved him like a brother, and he loved how they were just inseparable. He loved how he would whisper out Hyung and the other would immediately respond at lightning speed, no matter how drunk or sober he was. To be honest, he felt like a spoiled little dongsaeng whenever he was around the other, and for that he just loved him even more.
Jessica was extra nice to Changmin the whole night. He refused to think of it as something merely out of pity or guilt, because really, he didn’t want to feel as though he were some sort of an obligation to them. He was her friend and if she wanted him as a friend she would treat him like friends do, that’s that. He believed that she meant all those sugar coated words she would throw at him and those smiles she would often direct to him. And if only he had a way to know whether those were sincere or not, then it would have been easier for him to forget the months they had wasted not talking.
Gathering the scattered cups and the empty plates, he again thought in his head.
It was a fun evening…
But it still wasn’t complete.
As he continued to clean the place up he somehow felt his smile fade and his insides burn with expectation, Jessica’s words still ringing in his head.
“I…It’s silly but I thought Jaejoong was behind me the whole time…”
Had the older boy really come? Had he meant to apologize like Jessica did?
Questions kept playing with Changmin’s mind and he was itching to know the answers. They kept him restless for majority of the night.
A good 30 minutes later her had finished cleaning and placing pillows bellow his friend’s heads and a couple of blankets to keep them warm. For another 30 minutes he found himself pacing around the room, doing absolutely nothing of importance. At some minutes he would stop in front of the window and stare down at the dorm’s entrance where he was subconsciously expecting to see a tall lean man, wearing an ever familiar low riding white v-neck and leather jacket, to just walk up there head inside and knock on kyu’s apartment door. But it never happened. And with each tick of the clock Changmin grew more and more anxious.
An hour has gone by, the rain still poured, and Changmin’s spirits dropped by the second. He knew it was silly, but all he ever wanted was for Jaejoong to simply knock on that door, smile at him and greet him a happy birthday. But he also knew it wouldn’t happen. Mentally he was at war with himself, contemplating on whether to keep waiting or to simply cry himself to sleep again.
By 11:30 pm, he had made his decision.
And he chose to do neither.
For one, he was not gonna wait for nothing. He knew there was a 99.9% chance that Jaejoong wouldn’t show up, because he never did, not since several months before, the single percent of possibility relying purely on the fact that it was his birthday. So no, he wasn’t gonna wait. Not anymore.
But neither was he going to succumb back to depression like he had been doing every so often.
He didn’t think anymore, he simply let his feelings take over him. And within 3 minutes, he was out kyuhyun’s room, out the dorm, fighting his way across the pouring cold rain with nothing but a hoodie on.
He ran. To the place he had been dying to visit since several months ago.
Staring up at the ceiling, Jaejoong sighed.
It was quiet in his dorm room. His roommate was out, sleeping over at one of his friend’s places.
Memories of the incident earlier kept replaying in his head. Changmin’s worried voice when he saw Jessica soaking wet, Kyuhyun’s ice cold glare, Jessica’s apology. So much has happened and yet he was frustrated at the fact that it all ended with nothing. It all ended with him scurrying back to his dorm like a coward without so much as a single word of apology, or even just a happy birthday.
And for this, he promised to talk to the younger boy as soon as he cracks his eye open the next day. And this time he was going to keep his promise.
Silently he began to formulate an action plan in his head.
I’ll wake up extra early, and call him up. On the phone he’d sound really sleepy, and I’ll tell him to come to the place where we always used to meet up. Then I’d take him out to breakfast. Then I’d talk to him. Then I’d open up to him. Then he would smile at me, and only at me. And then everything will be okay again.
The thought brought a smile to his lips. His eyes fell closed as the images began rolling in his mind like a movie.
When the scenes slowly began lulling him to a peaceful sleep, three soft knocks on his room door had pulled him away from the sweet thoughts and back to reality.
He listened in silence, and as if on queue another three knocks made themselves heard.
Getting up, smile still goofily plastered on his face, he walked his way to the door.
But then as soon as he opened it, his smile immediately faded at the sight in front of him.
Yes. The younger boy stood shivering in front of him, the ends of his hair dripping wet as evidence from his waging war against the rain. His arms were crossed in front of him as he tried to stop his body’s trembling, but it was just too cold. Jaejoong’s heart ached for him.
The boy fell speechless. For a minute or two nothing but awkward silence stretched between them, the only sound coming from Changmin’s jagged breathing and teeth chattering. Jaejoong just stared, although, his heart swelled more and more as he watched the other take nervous glances from him and to the floor back and forth.
“I-I uhm…J-jessic-ca n-noona…s-said you were at k-kyuhyun h-hyung’s dorm earlier-r…”
“…..Maybe….I-mean, I just wanted to m-make s-sure…It was raining and I figured Y-you g-got wet too so…”
No response. Changmin’s eyes began to water. But no tears fell.
He smiled nervously.
“I-I guess…I guess I’m just interrupting y-you….Mianhae, I’ll…I’ll be going now-w.”
Changmin smiled again, though this time there was nothing but complete sadness in it. He bowed to say goodbye, and slowly turned around to head back to his own dorm. Inside he was screaming. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe he should have picked option two, cry to sleep again. He regretted coming and he felt as though he had just made things completely worse. His eyes stung and his vision blurred.
But just as he was about to take a step away from the door, He was momentarily startled by the hand that grabbed him rather harshly by the wrist, pulling him inside the other’s apartment while the door was slammed close.
He was hastily pushed against the wall by none other than Jaejoong.
Jae watched Changmin’s eyes widen with surprise at his sudden action, his hands gripping the other’s shoulders tightly as he pressed him harder against the wall. He said nothing, and instead just stared directly into the other’s eyes. His breathing was heavy and uneven, his face an inch away from the younger boy’s. And then after a while he hung his head low, leaning his forehead against Changmin’s shoulder.
They stayed like this for a while. Silence reigning yet again. Until Jaejoong finally spoke up in a low whispered voice.
“Don’t you hate me?”
“Hate me. Shouldn’t you hate me by now. Shouldn’t you be ignoring me like I’ve been ignoring you, shouldn’t you get yourself a girlfriend and hurt me like I’ve hurt you, shouldn’t you get a new set of friends and smile and laugh and be happy in my face like I’ve done to you!”
Jaejoong’s voice rose to his temper. Not at Changmin, but at himself. Though it still frightened the younger boy who squirmed under his tightening grip on his shoulders. He waited for the other to say something, maybe something like Yes. Yes I hate you. I hate you and I want you to get out. But for a few minutes all there was was silence.
The older boy lifted his head and stared at the now teary eyes of Changmin.
“I wanted to hate you.” The younger boy blurted out, his voice a little stronger this time.
“I wanted to hate you and I tried to hate you. But I just can’t. You’re a jerk, a stupid, selfish, arrogant jerk!”
Changmin began crying, tears streaming down his face like a faucet as he tried to cover his eyes with the back of his hands.
“…And I hate you! I hate you!”
Jaejoong cringed. He may have expected Changmin to say it, but he never knew it would hurt this much. Though little did he know about the more unexpected words that were to follow.
“I…SEE! I CAN’T EVEN SAY IT WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY FOR NOT MEANING IT AT ALL!!! I LIKE YOU!!! I LIKE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH IT HURTS!!!!!”
By now he was crying like a 5 year old kid. The back of his hands pressed against his eyes as the tears endlessly fell.
Jaejoong stood still, shocked and speechless.
He watched the other mewl and whine and just plainly cry. Changmin looked so vulnerable and weak right now that Jaejoong had to think twice if this really was the high school genius everyone had come to know and admire.
But then something about seeing this side of him brought comfort to Jaejoong. No. He was no sadist that loved to watch others cry in grief and angst. But rather, he liked the fact that he was the only one who’s seen the younger boy’s tears. As far as he knew, Changmin almost never told anyone if he’s sad or angry or lonely. The whole of the university knew him for his smile and his smile only.
And yet here he was, gouging his eyes out with endless tears in front of him. No, because of him.
Jaejoong whispered. Thought his words fell on deaf ears as the other whined on.
“Changmin-ah…Ssshh Changmin.” He called out, voice soft and whispered, filled with a tickling feeling he wasn’t very familiar with.
Slowly Jaejoong took hold of Changmin’s hands, which were still covering his eyes, and carefully he brought them down from the other’s face. His heart skipped a beat as soon as his eyes fell on those tear stained cheeks, watery eyes, and flushed red cheeks. He couldn’t help falling for every single side of this boy. He didn’t want the happy, smiling, Changmin. He just wanted Changmin. All of him.
Jaejoong smiled. He laughed.
“Y-yah…W-why are you laughing…” Changmin whined, confused.
Instead of responding, the older boy’s hand came up to brush the hair away from Changmin’s face, a sweet, dashing smile still plastered on his face.
“…Or maybe you’ve shrinked.” He sniffed.
Jaejoong stared. Changmin stared back, squinting his eyes in confusion.
And then the sound of their laughter filled the room. At that moment, Jaejoong knew everything was okay.
It took them a few minutes to recover, and by the time Jaejoong’s stomach churned with all those exciting feelings mixed together, his laugh died down. Although, as this happened Changmin was still caught up in the moment, flashing his mismatched eyes as his hands clutched his stomach in an effort to stop his constant giggling. Jaejoong was no longer laughing but rather he was contented with simply watching the other. Without realizing it, he was falling for Changmin more and more each second, until there came a point when he couldn’t control himself any longer.
When the younger boy had finally calmed down a bit, Jaejoong was mere centimeters away from his face.
Changmin’s laugh died dow. Soon he found himself mesmerized by the closeness of the older boy, the warmth of his skin on his own, the dark color of his eyes that seemed to pull him in closer and closer.
“Changmin.” Jaejoong whispered. His breath warm against the other’s lips.
“…say it again. Say that don’t hate me.”
By now the boy’s eyes had fallen to half-lids.
“I like you.”
Jaejoong smiled and brought their lips together.