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That's what they want Jan. 14th, 2016 @ 07:24 pm
Keep going
Keep living
Keep faking
That's what they expect
That's what they want
Keep trying
Keep pretending
Keep smiling
That's what they expect
That's what they want
Can't tell them that
You keep crying
You keep hurting
You keep hating
That's just how it is
But that's not what you want
Keep lying
Keep hiding
Keep fighting
They don't want to know
You don't want them to
So you just keep
Mood: exhaustedexhausted

Mar. 22nd, 2006 @ 12:20 am
Hey! Iam jamie, iam 16 and i like skinny puppy and type o negative. I also love horses and collect anything horsey and my little pony. I also love gothic clothing and i like antiques to. Add me if you like. Also does anyone have msn? Ja x

Apr. 25th, 2005 @ 10:24 am
just when i think i'm getting up
something comes and knocks me over
something unseen but very real
fall down hard
hit the ground
what the hell?
i just woke up
shouldn't be down yet
hell, i haven't even had time to get up!
day in and day out
so sick of fighting for air
the more i fight
the less i feel like fighting
the more i fall
the longer i'd rather just rest on the bottom
no one understands
he says there's nothing knocking me over
but he doesn't get it
no one gets it
i'm down and i don't have to have a reason why
just understand that i got knocked over somehow
don't try and help me up
don't smile and say it'll be ok
just sit with me on the bottom
where its cold and dark and lonely
and maybe when i'm rested
you can help me climb back out
trust me, i'm fighting my best
but whatever i'm fighting knows me too well
over and over he knocks me down
no way to block, nowhere to run
i don't run to him
he runs to me
he chases me
i can't get away
please understand
you can't help
no one can.
if i can't stand alone
then i shouldn't stand at all

Apr. 25th, 2005 @ 10:22 am
yea don't have much to say. it's just another day. it's funny, you hear people saying yea, i'm just trying to get through one day at a time. but why are they even bothering to get through them. each day you get through you're just one day closer to dying. not like that's anything to look forward too. when i was little and i thought about dying i somehow imagined that it would just be dark. blackness completely and utterly surrounding. and that would be it. you would just fade away. i still wish that were true. i don't care if the after life is going to be better then this life. i'm tired of living. period. there is no way in hell that i want to live for eternity. whether i go to heaven or hell or in between. i just want to be done. finito. so if God is kind enough to answer a prayer it would be that he would make an exception for me and just send me nowhere. that he would kill my spirit or soul or whatever the hell is supposed to be eternal and that i could just die completely. i mean i'm basically dead anyway. might as well completely finish it off...

Apr. 25th, 2005 @ 10:21 am
i don't understand me anymore one day i'm up and the next i'm down. is this life i'm living or is it all just a fake? am i a whore or am i clown? why can't i make up my mind, why can't i decide. why can't i be strong and just be me? why am i so confused, lost and dazed? why do i have all the answers and yet can't seem to find the right one? why am i not broken why am i still here? i don't understand how i'm breathing don't understand how i'm walking. is it me or am i just a puppet, a joke for the world to laugh at? i feel like both and yet neither, none of this makes any sense. sadistic and masochistic yet gentle and tender in one thought; liberalistic and conservativistic; legalistic and humanistic...perhaps the great paul was right. to die may be to gain...to leave this all behind. and yet it's clear i'd rather live, fake life is better then real life, where the weak die and the strong rule, the sweet girls cry and the sluts are cool, fake life is always better then real life, if only the screams were real how funny they sound. like a record scratched the wrong way. the silent are stronger but the weak are louder. they look at me and they see a face that holds no depth. they look at me and they see an empty promise. they look at me and see a dirty girl. but what do they expect? they never interevened, they only yelled, pleaded and screamed. they look at me and they saw no purpose. they look at me and they saw no reason. they look at me and they see no life. no, nobody's home, it's just funny, ironic really. they just stand there and keep knocking. instead of running round the back and following me as i leave. but it's just as well, because they'd probably just be following me to hell. they can't stop me, they can't change me, and what kills them most is they know they can't save me. i fucked up and then they fucked up...but two fuck ups don't make it fixed up. i guess i finally just stopped trying, the harder you try the more it becomes a simple lie. in the end it's all the same, it's never real life anymore. you never see more then anyone's game face, real is a thing of the past, we're all skimmed and dehydrated, full of fat free, artificial flavor, pasturized and culturized straight up Americans. if you can't eat anything real you're certainly not going to find anybody that's real. just admit it, we're all pawns in a chess game, bible says so itself, you're either black or white, good or bad. to be both isn't possible. funny, bible is full of contradictions and yet all us christians deny that they are contradictions. i guess we're all tongues, capable of good and bad. guess what? you're talking to a psycho. oh don't worry i won't kill you. you're not the one i want dead. nope, not quite, not to be rude or anything but you just don't quite cut it. no pun intended. hope you're not offended but i really don't want you. i'm after the weak, the fools, the brainless. biggest(or smallest i should say) one first. bye bye...

Feb. 8th, 2005 @ 12:42 pm

A community for the spooky Kids.

Marilyn Manson Freak

Mood: calmcalm
Music: Personal Jesus
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