†- You'll slit my neck and I'll finally smile -†

Life as an addict. Wake up sometimes at 5-AM, crack open the first beer. Drink and watch TV till maybe 10-AM or later. By 1-PM, I’m asleep. Passed out. I wake again by 5-PM and start my ritual again. At least at 27-years of age, I smoke pot to length the space of beers.

Mondays and Wednesdays are my worse. Take for example today. Last night we went to bed around 1 or 2-AM. We woke again around 7-AM. Started drinking. Bed by 1-PM. Woke up 5-PM. Started drinking again.

I used to be some sort of athlete when I had a place to train in martial arts. Now? My only home is what I make of it. In alcohol. At least I haven't sliced my flesh in over a year, I got that going for me ;)

1. Name: Kenzijae. I prefer Jae, or K.Jae
2. Age: 15
3. Location: Lubbock, TX
4. Your Affliction(or past affliction)(cutting, eating disorder, ect.):cutting/branding 
5. Top 5 favorite bands: Fireflight, Decyfer Down, Sanctus Real, Red, Staind..  a BUNCH more
6. Drugs: Never done drugs
7. Top 5 favorite movies: Pearl Harbor, All the Final Destinations, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (a lot of horror movies), The Notebook, umm.. having trouble thinking. 
8. Top 5 favorite books: Oh this is hard. I read SOO much.. 
9. Will your promote this community?: For sure.. 
10. Are you good with making graphics?: Nope, but i can take/edit pictures like a mad woman.
11. Favorite Song?: At the moment, Stand Up by Fireflight
12. If your life was a movie, what film would it be most like?: A drama/romance/comedy
13. Favorite Colors?: Teal, dark dark pink, purple

Application ---
1. Name: Kathine friends call me kat
2. Age: 20
3. Location: louisville, ky
4. Your Affliction(or past affliction)(cutting, eating disorder, ect.):cutting
5. Top 5 favorite bands:flyleaf, ALANIS MORISSETTE, ALICIA KEYS, FIONA APPLE,P!nk
6. Drugs:done most of them but coke and weed are my favs.
7. Top 5 favorite movies:10 things i hate about you, daria (both movies) writscutters, shes all that, MILK
8. Top 5 favorite books: cut, anne sexton, any anne rice books, fingersmith,and many more
9. Will your promote this community?: yes
10. Are you good with making graphics?: no not at all
11. Favorite Song?: to many to say, bitch, all around me, much ike falling, like ull never see me again
12. If your life was a movie, what film would it be most like?: a cry comdy...
13. Favorite Colors?:black in red
14. Tell us about your self: im 20 almost 21, im going to school to be a hairdress, im a bad speller and i'm a bisexual. i deel like i have a about 5 different people living in my head right now. with all there own names...me(katherine) feels like im going crazy and needs help but most over the others feel like we have this under raps. i have been cutting for 7 years try killing myself 4 times...just looking for the fulling happiness( the one that last more then 5 mins or so) i have 5 tattoos (another way to full the needs to cut for me) and 10 pricing...8 in the ears ans one in the lip and one in the belly. yeah so...cant think of anything else right now
15. Pictures of yourself (no limit, post as many as you would like):

( pics of meCollapse )

1. Name: Michelle
2. Age: 22
3. Location: UK
4. Your Affliction(or past affliction)(cutting, eating disorder, ect.): Cutting
5. Top 5 favorite bands: Hmm not sure if i have that many lol. Erm Armand Van Helden, Justice, Daft Punk, Erol Alkan and Leona Lewis.
6. Drugs: Anti-depressants
7. Top 5 favorite movies: Party Monster, Happiness, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Crank and Now and Then.
8. Top 5 favorite books: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn and Thirteen Reasons Why.
9. Will your promote this community?: Well I'm only just getting to grips with this place but I'll try.
10. Are you good with making graphics?: Not really.
11. Favorite Song?: The Calling - Could it be any harder.
12. If your life was a movie, what film would it be most like?: Hmm, I've no idea!
13. Favorite Colors?: Indigo.
14. Tell us about your self: I'm 22, I'm engaged and have a 2 and a half year old son. I've been a cutter for the past 5 years. Only recently started getting help. I'm finding it quite hard but the counselling is great. That's it really.
15. Pictures of yourself (no limit, post as many as you would like):

is anyone on that can talk right now?

Application ---
1. Name: Hannah
2. Age: 20
3. Location: Sheffield
4. Your Affliction(or past affliction)(cutting, eating disorder, ect.): depression, self-harm (fine little razor-blade cuts in pretty patterns, scratching until I break/bruise the skin, twisting injured joints, and pulling hair)
5. Top 5 favorite bands: The Subways, The Clash, Ash, The Sex Pistols, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Oasis
6. Drugs: weed, alcohol, Es
7. Top 5 favorite movies: Donnie Darko, The Butterfly Effect, V for Vendetta, Clerks, Dogma
8. Top 5 favorite books: Cell, The Bell Jar, A Million Little Pieces, Clockwork Orange, Silence of the Lambs
9. Will your promote this community?: I'll do my best, yeah
10. Are you good with making graphics?: Nope, suck at it
11. Favorite Song?: At the moment? "The Girl in the Dirty Shirt"-Oasis. Particularly the line "Cause to me it doesn't matter if you're hopes and dreams are shattered"
12. If your life was a movie, what film would it be most like?: I want to be really deep and say something like Clockwork Orange...but it would be like Mallrats. >.>
13. Favorite Colors?: black, white, red, green
14. Tell us about your self: I'm...a smush, I decided yesterday. A two person soul stuck in a one person body. Like there is too much of it for my body to take, and so I get extreme mood swings, I am never really completely happy, I cannot FINISH things to save my life, and I have spent a months worth of money in a week. I'm quite fun though--like to party, like to talk, chat shit, you know...I tried to make a film once, it was entertaining as the cast (my best friend and my lil bros) got distracted by the icecream truck and ran off -___-;;;;
15. Pictures of yourself (no limit, post as many as you would like):

Invitation to take part in an online research questionnaire

1. Name: Clara
2. Age: 18 years old.
3. Location: California.
4. Your Affliction(or past affliction)(cutting, eating disorder, ect.): cutting, bruising, eating disorder.
5. Top 5 favorite bands: Hmm, I don't know. Haha, I really like soft slow music with quirky voices? Does that count? I dunno, how about Damien Rice, Cat Power, Coldplay, Zero 7, Regina Spektor, Radiohead, the Pixies, well, you get the picture.
6. Drugs: booze and ciggys.
7. Top 5 favorite movies: Closer, Rushmore, Bottle Rocket, The Last Kiss, Garden State, So I Married an Axe Murderer, oh wait, thats 6... Well, I can't really pick 5 favorites... I like so many.
8. Top 5 favorite books: 9 Stories, Women, Stick Figure... I don't know, I have a lot of those too.
9. Will your promote this community?: mmhm.
10. Are you good with making graphics?: no, not really.
11. Favorite Song?: Goodness, I don't know.
12. If your life was a movie, what film would it be most like?: Amelie.
13. Favorite Colors?: Brown, Green and Yellow.
14. Tell us about your self: I am pretty quiet and caring. I will talk to you about anything, and I will always be there for you. Hahaha, I don't know! I'm indecisive, and I make jokes.
15. Pictures of yourself (no limit, post as many as you would like): I have no idea how to do this part. haha. I am definatly not computer savvy.

I love you. But sometimes, I hate you, i'm scared of you, I want to hurt you, I want to kill you. I want to hurt myself, I want to kill myself. Why won't you see or acknowledge whats going on, what you're doing to me??? I can't take this much longer. One day you WILL find me dead, and it will be YOUR name written on the walls in MY BLOOD. Then, only then you'll see what you've done to me, how you've broken me.
You make me want to die.