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_Xx_Our Scars Never Let Us Forget_Xx_

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[08 May 2007|01:47pm]

x_estrellita_x
I feel like shit and really want to cut but I promised my boyfriend I wouldn't as long as he doesn't crack his knuckles and he has been true to his word...
But I still want to so badly... to just feel the pain and know that I can feel...and see my own blood spill out knowing that maybe I am alive deep down inside...
I'm going to keep my word, but I have a feeling only you guys know how hard it is considering that I suffer from depression.  My friends don't understand why I do it, but as cutters I know you have more of an idea than they do... I just need some suport from ya'll right now...
thanks
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Nice to have somewhere to turn about this type of thing finally... [29 Apr 2007|05:00pm]

x_estrellita_x
[ mood | calm ]

Hey everyone,
I saw this community and decided to join.  I've been a cutter for about three years now and i am depserately trying to stop becuase it isnt good (even though it feels good) and my boyfriend doesnt deserve to go through that.  But it's just nice to have someone or somepeople understand why I do it because everyone else doesnt, includint my boyfriend.  so, its nice to know there are people i can talk to who know what im doing and the why of it...
*hugs everyone*

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[26 Nov 2006|01:39am]

countingstars77
New here...

I've been cutting on and off since I was 13. I've just started again, and I guess I'm here so I can find people to relate to, since none of my friends seem to want to discuss the matter, not like I blame them. It's nice to know that there are other people who feel the same way I do ^_^.
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[06 Nov 2005|06:04pm]
deathabyss
Check out FLYLEAF! On tour with STAIND.



E-card here!
1 comment|post comment

[26 Oct 2005|01:00am]

kinkybell
Well yeah...

Am Steffi...used to cut loads like a year ago..the last time was probably febuary but have been tempted to lots. But I don't want to hurt my boyfriend in the process. I just wanted to join this really to find people to communicate with so yeah. Also I'll be here if anyone wants to talk or needs help

<3
2 comments|post comment

Ahh! [25 Aug 2005|11:41pm]

pentacus
Damn it. I am so confused! I need help man. I need input.

I find myself in a position to be potentially involved in a relaitonship with a girl that I really don't beleive I have much of anything in common with. The sane human being would probably look at this and say, "Right. Better not get involved then." But for some odd reason, I thought it would be a good idea to try out this new mindset where the individual actually gives the rivers of flowing fate a fighting chance and allows themself to find out where the fates may take them.

But now I have a serious moral debate raging in the dialogue of my own head: What happens when part of those "fates" could potentially mean hurting someone else? It doesn't seem right to simply react to every emotion that is felt with the corresponding behavior. And, also, in this mindset, where does one draw the line between simply persuing destiny and actively participating in one's own life?

If anyone has any ideas on this subject (or if you just want me to shut up and figure this stuff out on my own) please let me know.
2 comments|post comment

Drinking Dew and asking questions [29 Jul 2005|12:48pm]

pentacus
[ mood | nerdy ]

You know what really sucks (asides from not getting good soda)?

Not being able to hang out with people that you really want to hang out with. Like I'm heading to Europe (oh woe, betide to me lol), which is just awsome and I know I'll have a wonderful trip, but still there is this whole issue of the fact that now I can't go to this role-playing thing my friends and I had set up. Ah well, I'll just steal a brick from a castle for them.

At any rate I have an important question to ask anyone in the community:

I tried the Tollhouse cookies, they came out excellent. Does anyone have any ideas on things that would go particularly well with Root Beer?

hahahahha

Like I mean, the classic "American" drive-in meal is a burger, fries, and Root Beer but I'm wondering if anyone has an idea for the preparation and presentation of Root Beer that does not involve the most fattening food ever created. lol

At any rate man, if anyone happens to have ideas, particularly on ways to entertain the whims and romances of a darned attractive library bookworm, please let me know. lmao

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Hey Im New [28 Jul 2005|10:24am]

toxic_love_lust
[ mood | and horny... jk ]

Hey,
I saw this community and i figured i had alot in common with the people in here... Im a cutter... And have been a cutter for about 3 years... Im trying really hard to stop because i hate seeing the pain in my mothers eyes everytime she sees a new cut on me... and that makes me want to cut more... So, yea, just wanted to say hi... and give my support... ~hugs everyone whos reading~
your new friend, ~*~Toxic_Love_Lust~*~

2 comments|post comment

Just updating [16 Jun 2005|03:52pm]

pentacus
[ mood | depressed ]

Hey guys,

It's been a while. So much has happened. All the seniors at my school are moving on to new stuff. Everything's changing again. It's so damn funny how it is that a single drop of water can be turned into more hydrogen to kill people with bombs or how that same drop can be used to save the life of a starving impovershed child.

Old tigers are always at their fiercest when caged. Never let anyone tell you that you are not special. Never let anyone make you beleive that the universe isn't full of mystery and wonder. The very stars themselves hold secrets beyond our mortal imagination.

At any rate if anyone in the community has advice on how to deal with these changes, or a recipe for good choclate chip cookies, please respond.

P.S. I'm not kidding about the cookies. I'm an avid chef/ baker/entertainer in my spare time.

5 comments|post comment

Yeah! [12 Jun 2005|11:48am]

pentacus
[ mood | contemplative ]

I know this is kind of off-topic for the community, but the rules do say you can post anything.

At any rate I just got done posting some poetry (only two poems actually) in a couple of communities. Still I think that's pretty awsome, since I'm new to all of this. Hell Yeah!

I think I'll go burn my fingerprints off with lye, but before I do this is another poem that is shorter and more "direct" I guess you might say.

Library Love

 

Standing here

In the dawn

I see the orb in my hand,

Floating in the lawn.

 

What kind of crazy world is this

That plots positive punishment?

But this is not the way of the

Mind, oh no.

 

The answer is not to play

But instead to pay with our lives

With our laughs.

 

What greater price can there

Be than this quiet harmony

Of you and me?

Love, like life, is a very relative term.

 

Is it conceivable

To put a lover’s words to pen?

To express, but for a moment,

The sheer complexity and depth of a wonderful relationship between two people?

 

Perhaps it is, but for an instant,

To fall in water and never again

Seek the surface.

 

I hope you guys like the poem. It's called Library Love because I wrote it while one of my ex's was playing jazz at a poetry reading/open mic thing.

 

2 comments|post comment

Hello Everyone [10 Jun 2005|03:52pm]

pentacus
[ mood | cheerful ]

Apparently there is an entrance survey.

Name: Bobby

Do you cut? Not technically, but I do engage in several forms of full-contact martial arts. Sometimes these include edged wooden weapons. So who knows if that counts.

How long have you cut? I've been doing martial arts for roughly five years now. So I guess I'm a newb, but still I like the rush of the experience. Sometimes the only way to feel alive is to realize that we are mortal. This makes the precious fragility of life so much more interesting.

Everywhere you turn you see the continuous cycle of life and death, in everything. Sometimes knowing you're not that far from the flip-side of the coin helps.

Anyway, the community rules say you are supposed to let the group know who you are. I hope that's enough for now.

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Hey everyone [01 Jun 2005|02:08pm]

bloodshedlove
[ mood | contemplative ]

Yes, I know I'm the WORST community starter in the world. I started this and I hardly write in here and I feel like shit for doing it. Blah. But anyway.

Life has taken an interesting turn for me. One of my best guy friends has given me my frist kiss. Its all very confusing cuz he has a girlfriend and now I guess you could say I'm the "other" woman. When this all started I felt so good about myself and just like everything was gonna be okay but dear lord, now I'm not so sure. Now I feel like shit for doing shit with him cuz he has a girlfriend....granted his girlfriend is a complete bitch and hates me for really no reason(No, she does not know about me and him) so yeah. Life is interesting.

I guess you could say I'm about the same as I always am. I mean, I cut like...a few days ago and I feel like I'm losing myself more and more everyday. But thats what I've felt since I was 8 and started cutting.

My friend Michelle seems a bit worried about my eating habits for this summer. I haven't really been eating a lot. She seems to think that I'm trying to starve myself. Which I'm not. I just dont feel like eating and a lot of times I have to force myself to eat cuz I know I have to. Does it sound like I'm trying(or starting) to be annorexic to anyone?

We all need to make sure this thing stays alive. Maybe get some more members in here. I dont know. I like having the smaller number of people I suppose.

If anyone ever needs to talk my email is Leeanna_Nicole@msn.com and you guys are more than welcome to add me on MSN messenger or email me if you ever need to. If you guys have AIM I'm AnnaNicole2689.

Keep in touch everyone!

Much Love,

Leeanna

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Hey [13 May 2005|11:03pm]

c0miingx0clean
[ mood | thoughtful ]

I just joined the community but ive only been cutting for about half a year.. its nice to know theres other people out there that have problems too and are willing to help other people by letting there problems out.

3 comments|post comment

[11 May 2005|02:59pm]

he_was_like
[ mood | creative ]

heyy everybodyy. well my names nikki n imma freshnam. uhm, i just joined this community and i thinks it awesome what you are doing letting people come here, to a place where they can just tell about their problems and not having to worry about being judged. its amaziing. lets keep this active. i cut havee for about a year...'nd a half. if u wanna talk to meh feel free to IM me on AIM he_was_lyke or just comment in my journal. keep me posted on this community pleaase

loove nikki

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R.I.P...Please Pray [03 May 2005|04:54pm]

bloodshedlove
[ mood | sad ]

Ryan Michael Bosley, age 16, was killed on Friday, April 30th.  This is how he died. Ryan was in a head on collision with another vehicile that killed 3 other people. A Mom, Dad and 3 year old girl. He was trying to pass someone near a hill and he crashed, his friend in the car with him survived but Ryan was killed. They say the guy Ryan was passing might have sped up...which, if he did hes going to be charged with vehicular manslauter. Ryan's funeral will take place tomorrow at his school's gym.

We not only need to pray for Ryan and his family and friends, but for all the family and friends of EVERYONE involved. Losing someone that you love is the worst thing in the world. So take a look around you and see your friends and family and just tell them you love them. Its the best thing you can do. Make sure they know you love them everyday, wether you had a fight with them or not. We never know when someone can be taken from you....So lets let them know that they are loved.

R.I.P Ryan Bosley, 16; Jake Leaper, 28; Stacy Leaper, 29; and Little Tara Leaper, 3. May your souls rest in Heaven and may you know how much you are loved and missed.

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Welcome [01 May 2005|11:03pm]

bloodshedlove
[ mood | crappy ]

Hey guys. I just want to say welcome to browneyed_girl1 and mmhindelan91 and thank you guys for joining. Promote us if you want.

I feel like a complete bitch for ignoring this community. I just thought, no one is joining so why write and why even promote it. What can I say I'm a loser.

I've been having a hard time recently. I've been depressed a lot and wanting to cut just about every night. I cut 2 stars on my wrist not to long ago and I just remember thinking that I wanted to do more....and more.....and more. Well we all know how that is. But of course I stopped myself in fear of what I would do since I was using a knife for the first time. It was hard to stop too.

I dont know whats all going on in my head. I'm so mixed up it isn't even funny. I just dont even want to wake up anymore. I hate feeling like this.

I just want to disappear.

2 comments|post comment

[01 May 2005|03:10pm]

mmhindelan91
hahahahaha! jk jk...I found the scroll arrow...I am an idiot.... Lemme introduce myself...I have been a cutter since I was about 11-12....I cut myself one day by accident and when I saw the blood....I dunno, it was just this overwhelming feeling. I just started to cut for fun afterwards and it wasnt until I was about 12-13 when I found out i wasnt the only one doing it.... I havent cut for about 2 weeks now. I broke a "cutting fast" I had for almost 2 months around a month ago. I stopped again two weeks ago. I think about cutting every day. It is so hard to stop.
5 comments|post comment

[01 May 2005|03:09pm]

mmhindelan91
Hey...I am just joining this commuinity....Is there something wrong with the layout of this or something???? I can't see any of the entries and I am a member...It is just cut off the screen
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[10 Apr 2005|07:52pm]
syndresthesia
WOOT! I get to be member no. 2.

I used to cut when I was younger- until I got STAPH infection from an exacto, and couldn't get rid of the boils I kept getting for like a year. I still can't have peircings or anything without it showing up again. I'll probably die from it or something. lol.

So, cutting is fun, and it's pretty- but at least sterilize your junx first.

XO,
moi
1 comment|post comment

Hey [09 Apr 2005|11:17am]

bloodshedlove
[ mood | accomplished ]

Hey everyone. I'm the person who started this lil community. Join everyone!

This is basically a community for people to come and just let go of their problems. Let me start out telling you about me.

Name: Leeanna
Age:15
How Long I've Been Cutting: About 7 years now
Location: Missouri

I just want people to write in here and know that NO ONE will judge them. You guys can write poetry here, post icons, or just bitch I dont care. I hope I get some more people by the end of the day.

Remember if you want to join. READ THE RULES.

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