(no subject)

I feel like shit and really want to cut but I promised my boyfriend I wouldn't as long as he doesn't crack his knuckles and he has been true to his word...
But I still want to so badly... to just feel the pain and know that I can feel...and see my own blood spill out knowing that maybe I am alive deep down inside...
I'm going to keep my word, but I have a feeling only you guys know how hard it is considering that I suffer from depression.  My friends don't understand why I do it, but as cutters I know you have more of an idea than they do... I just need some suport from ya'll right now...
  • Current Music
    Las Noches Son Tristes

Nice to have somewhere to turn about this type of thing finally...

Hey everyone,
I saw this community and decided to join.  I've been a cutter for about three years now and i am depserately trying to stop becuase it isnt good (even though it feels good) and my boyfriend doesnt deserve to go through that.  But it's just nice to have someone or somepeople understand why I do it because everyone else doesnt, includint my boyfriend.  so, its nice to know there are people i can talk to who know what im doing and the why of it...
*hugs everyone*
  • Current Mood
    calm calm

(no subject)

New here...

I've been cutting on and off since I was 13. I've just started again, and I guess I'm here so I can find people to relate to, since none of my friends seem to want to discuss the matter, not like I blame them. It's nice to know that there are other people who feel the same way I do ^_^.

(no subject)

Well yeah...

Am Steffi...used to cut loads like a year ago..the last time was probably febuary but have been tempted to lots. But I don't want to hurt my boyfriend in the process. I just wanted to join this really to find people to communicate with so yeah. Also I'll be here if anyone wants to talk or needs help



Damn it. I am so confused! I need help man. I need input.

I find myself in a position to be potentially involved in a relaitonship with a girl that I really don't beleive I have much of anything in common with. The sane human being would probably look at this and say, "Right. Better not get involved then." But for some odd reason, I thought it would be a good idea to try out this new mindset where the individual actually gives the rivers of flowing fate a fighting chance and allows themself to find out where the fates may take them.

But now I have a serious moral debate raging in the dialogue of my own head: What happens when part of those "fates" could potentially mean hurting someone else? It doesn't seem right to simply react to every emotion that is felt with the corresponding behavior. And, also, in this mindset, where does one draw the line between simply persuing destiny and actively participating in one's own life?

If anyone has any ideas on this subject (or if you just want me to shut up and figure this stuff out on my own) please let me know.
  • Current Music

Drinking Dew and asking questions

You know what really sucks (asides from not getting good soda)?

Not being able to hang out with people that you really want to hang out with. Like I'm heading to Europe (oh woe, betide to me lol), which is just awsome and I know I'll have a wonderful trip, but still there is this whole issue of the fact that now I can't go to this role-playing thing my friends and I had set up. Ah well, I'll just steal a brick from a castle for them.

At any rate I have an important question to ask anyone in the community:

I tried the Tollhouse cookies, they came out excellent. Does anyone have any ideas on things that would go particularly well with Root Beer?


Like I mean, the classic "American" drive-in meal is a burger, fries, and Root Beer but I'm wondering if anyone has an idea for the preparation and presentation of Root Beer that does not involve the most fattening food ever created. lol

At any rate man, if anyone happens to have ideas, particularly on ways to entertain the whims and romances of a darned attractive library bookworm, please let me know. lmao

  • Current Music
    Mountain Dew
My World

Hey Im New

I saw this community and i figured i had alot in common with the people in here... Im a cutter... And have been a cutter for about 3 years... Im trying really hard to stop because i hate seeing the pain in my mothers eyes everytime she sees a new cut on me... and that makes me want to cut more... So, yea, just wanted to say hi... and give my support... ~hugs everyone whos reading~
your new friend, ~*~Toxic_Love_Lust~*~
  • Current Music
    Deadstar Assembly- Breathe for Me

Just updating

Hey guys,

It's been a while. So much has happened. All the seniors at my school are moving on to new stuff. Everything's changing again. It's so damn funny how it is that a single drop of water can be turned into more hydrogen to kill people with bombs or how that same drop can be used to save the life of a starving impovershed child.

Old tigers are always at their fiercest when caged. Never let anyone tell you that you are not special. Never let anyone make you beleive that the universe isn't full of mystery and wonder. The very stars themselves hold secrets beyond our mortal imagination.

At any rate if anyone in the community has advice on how to deal with these changes, or a recipe for good choclate chip cookies, please respond.

P.S. I'm not kidding about the cookies. I'm an avid chef/ baker/entertainer in my spare time.

  • Current Music
    some very erotic tango music


I know this is kind of off-topic for the community, but the rules do say you can post anything.

At any rate I just got done posting some poetry (only two poems actually) in a couple of communities. Still I think that's pretty awsome, since I'm new to all of this. Hell Yeah!

I think I'll go burn my fingerprints off with lye, but before I do this is another poem that is shorter and more "direct" I guess you might say.

Library Love


Standing here

In the dawn

I see the orb in my hand,

Floating in the lawn.


What kind of crazy world is this

That plots positive punishment?

But this is not the way of the

Mind, oh no.


The answer is not to play

But instead to pay with our lives

With our laughs.


What greater price can there

Be than this quiet harmony

Of you and me?

Love, like life, is a very relative term.


Is it conceivable

To put a lover’s words to pen?

To express, but for a moment,

The sheer complexity and depth of a wonderful relationship between two people?


Perhaps it is, but for an instant,

To fall in water and never again

Seek the surface.


I hope you guys like the poem. It's called Library Love because I wrote it while one of my ex's was playing jazz at a poetry reading/open mic thing.


  • Current Music
    None- My computer, stereo, and MP3 broke