evie: a cute what?
evie: i thought u said a cute cop...that u wanted. i was like, he must've been real cute.
My Brother: Ummm...it's your mom too.
Friend: What?!? you were cheating?
Me: No, I was just utilizing my resources.
Me: And then I saw two twins walking down the street.
Friend: The term "twins' usually implies two, you don't have to say it.
Weird guy in homeroom: I'm so hungry.
Teacher: bring a snack.
Guy: What's a snack?
Me: Are you serious?
Guy: Yes, what is a snack? Hurry up, I'm hungry.
Me: Does being hungry prevent you from knowing what a snack is?
Guy: No, I guess not...
**I run into a stop sign**
Friend: Ummm...those signs imply for you to stop.
Me: thanks for the support.
student: What are we supposed to do if there ever actuall is a guy with a gun or a knife?
teacher: See that cup of scissors right there? There's one for each of you? Me? I'm gonna get the heck out of here.
- History Professor discussing the Conference at Tehran
LOL! so yeah I love funny quotes.
So here goes one I heard from my dad yesterday. I hope its funny for you guys!
"Listen to the children. They are our future. The have a lot of wonderful things to say!
Kid: (screaming) WAAAAAHH!!!! GIVE ME BACK MY TOY!!!!!
Mom: SHUT UP!!!! AND GO TO YOUR BEDROOM!!!!!"
I dont think its exaclty a quote, my dad said it just like that, and I wrote it down.
*during the lockdown drill* (In case someone comes to the school shoting everybody)
Mr. Freudenburg: Now if Someone manages to get through the doors, I have a bunch of compasses right over there you can attack them with.
Bret: Wait??? You want us to do Math???....
Band Director: Drummers!! What are you doing?
Drummers: Nothing. All the parts are covered. We have nothing to do in this song.
Director: Well find something to hit! Anything to hit!!..... no no. I said something...not someone.