December 20th, 2003

  • onezero

Hi, I'm new..

It's easy to get lost in thought if it's not familiar territory to you.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

There are three stages of a man's life: When he believes in Santa Claus, when he doesn't believe in Santa Claus, and when he is Santa Claus.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
-Jack Handey

Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.
-- Charles Schulz

Guard: Do you intend to resist?
Porthos: Oh don't be so stupid, of course we intend to resist! Just give us a minute!
--The Three Muskateers

[During a chase, in the Cardinal's own coach]
Porthos: For a chase, the Cardinal recommends his excellent '24 Cabernet.
Porthos: [to D'Artagnan] You can't have any, you're too young.
Athos: Take the reins, boy.

--The Three Muskateers

Ok, that'll probably do!!