(no subject)

Hello all
-What's your least favorite body part?
-What's your favorite body part?

*I'm jealous of a character in a book who's image I created in my head-I'm so stupid: From Lady Audley's secret- I'm jealous of Lucy Audley and her pretty eyes, small frame, and smooth glowing skin! What's wrong with me?!

On another note- I really really want to get healthy and get my curves back- I'm 84 pounds now but I want to be atleast 100 by July. I want to look like one of those playmates on the Girls Next Door or a girl in Sports Illustrated magazine, or even a Victoria Secret gal. They're skinny with curves (boobs and booty)- green eyed with envy( and I really do have green eyes- lol).


(no subject)

Hello all,
Okay just a little question- I guess I just want a good laugh. Yet, I've been to 2 different impatient treatment centers and 1 outpatient (that I'm currently in). I've noticed that many of these places have stupid rules and policies, some that I've never knew exsisted, until I filled through my old folder just now. So for all the ladies and fellas who've been in a center: What are some of the stupidest, craziest rules you've had to deal with?

(no subject)

Hey it's been along time since I posted because, we lost our home computer and the one's at the library don't allow livejournal- it'll read error. So now I finally got my new comp from Best buy. Nice to see you all again and thank god for after thanksgiving day sales.
Well I have gained about 9 pounds - now 87 pounds
I'm eating a bit more and trying so hard to recover but two problems occur:Stomach bloating = getting fuller so easily making it hard to eat and number 2 a concern for my hair.
I used to love my hair- I had nice hair, now it's ruined. i was wondering if anyone took any vitamins or hair growing treatment. Can people tell me what works and also what doesn't? Thanks.
ted creep

(no subject)

I'd like to share that I'm no longer able to be a part of this community as I'm choosing this point in my life, where I'm mentally strong enough to recover.
Thanks for everything.
You guys and girls have been great.
Take care of yourselves.

a personal story

First of all, I believe people "create" their eating disorders when they are influenced by an exterior substance, i.e, friends, parents, siblings...

I began to invent my eating disorder when i was 7 years old. I had been a tall extremely thin child pre-7. When i was six my parents filed for divorce and my mom moved to a small town 15 miles away. I spend 1week with my mom and 1 week with my dad. I started to get some baby fat when i was 7, and I was already the tallest kid in my class, but I never really was picked on in school. My biggest issue was my father. I was never good enough for him, i was always too fat. And he always said, "its not about looks, i want you to be healthy" that was bullshit. So my dad stopped allowing me to eat, but then i'd go to my moms house and eat whatever i wanted. I developed an obsession with food after being deprived for a week. I would binge every day at my moms house and instantly gained so much weight. Then i moved to my moms house permenantly and I would only visit my dad on some weekends and by the sixth grade, i was around 5'5 and 140lbs. Thats when i started getting teased about my weight. My sixth grade year I had not a single friend and every day was hell for me. I began to hate my body with a passion and was desperate for some control in my life. I had learned from my father that restricting the intake of food (i was only 10 years old at this time) would cause me to lose weight. Since my mom was never home much, it was easy to get away with this. I managed to lose 15-20lbs in a couple of months. Ofcourse my mother noticed the weight loss, she blamed it on puberty. So when i visited my dad i was so excited because i thought he would recognized my weight loss. He told my that "I was still fat and was on my way to diabeties and other health related problems" So losing weight became even more of an obsession. Just to please my dad, well thats how it was at first. But I began to notice how much prettier i looked and i absolutely loved the sense of control. By 8th grade I was 5'8 and 100 lbs. This continues on until this day, where 3 yeas later, I live with my dad full time and see my mom a few times a year. Im currently 5'10 and 109lbs. and yes, my father still thinks im overweight. Anorexia has been my savior and my enemy over the years, and i often think about recovery. But ive accepted anorexia as part of me and i wouldnt be as whole without it. The truth is, the ones who are infested with this awful, depriving, sad wonderful helpful truthful disease, are just as human as the rest, and we deserve every amount of respect as someone without a mental or physical disease.

anways, thats all i have to say.

IF you read this all, thanks for your time



New to the community, ooh arent you special.

Hey all..
im new to the community. I saw it and it was quite appealing.

so anyways,
my bio/stats

Height 5'10
Current weight 112
Lowest weight 102
Highest weight 150
Type of Ed, anorexia
favorite thinspiration Idol, Allegra Versace

so thats me, more to come.

hope everyone is doing well in everything they are doing:)