Reversing the Bad-Relationships Curse
We all know that dating can be a lot like an American Idol audition. Maybe it goes horribly, maybe you're nervous, maybe you crack under pressure, maybe you wear the wrong outfit, or maybe you nail the audition with perfect conversation and a one-of-a-kind style. Whatever the case, there's a lot of pressure in any early-on period of a relationship because the judges-though they may not say anything to your face-are just as harsh as our three household favorites. So if you continually find yourself being sent home rather than being sent on, chances are that either it simply wasn't meant to be or that you're not projecting your best possible side for your intended audience. Here are some clues into what may be going wrong, so you can change your luck -- and make sure you have enough time to really prove yourself. The keys to the masterful date:
The Right Level of Confidence
We all know one of the biggest turn-offs that happen during a first date (besides bad breath, bad manners, and bad shoes): Cockiness. If a date struts around like a peacock flashing his long list of accomplishments, then he comes off as either trying way too hard or having a planet-sized head. But because of that risk, many people have swung in the opposite direction-playing the low-key, laid-back, just-hanging card to make sure they don't come off as cocky as a Cowell. That aw-shucks attitude, however, can be as unappealing as the flex-biceps one, because people don't want partners who have the backbone of a worm. They want people who are able to find the middle ground of being secure with themselves-without having to sell themselves.
A Smart Outlook on the Future
At first, some of the traits that you're revealing to potential partners may have a sexy side-whether it's the guy who's into daredevil motor sports or a woman who's unafraid to show her mettle with tequila. But consciously or not, as time goes on, we tend to judge potential mates not always by what their image means right now-but what it will mean down the line when they're parents. Men and women not only judge each other on kissing quality, sense of humor, and general chemistry, but also how their personality will play out when they're a mother or a father. Not that you should be tiptoeing around who you are, but you have to be aware that you're not only being evaluated in the here and now, but also the then and later.
A Sense of Control
There can be something kind of sexy about the slightly disheveled, crazy-busy person who has a pile of papers three-feet high at his desk, or who has the ability to juggle her Blackberry, laptop, and other electronic gadgets 24-7. They're projecting the image of importance, which can come off as very appealing. But after a while, the frazzled, everything-all-over the-place persona is simply code for: You ain't got your stuff together. And at some point-maybe early, maybe later-it's going to be something that translates into: You're not right for me.
A Priority on Romance
If you're unlucky in love (and not happy about it), then it's likely you've tried just about every place to meet people to date-at bars, in bookstores, in coffee shops, online, at church, on the highway, wherever. Sometimes, those chance meetings will work out wonderfully, but more times than not, they'll have about the same success rate as Britney's PR person. The best path to romantic success: Friends. In fact, according to one survey, 78 percent of women feel that their friends are the best source to help find a significant other. So that means if you're a guy with few female friends or a woman with few guy friends, your mission ought to be networking and developing more social circles with friends, acquaintances, and co-workers of the opposite sex. The domino effect-without having to try so hard-can eventually lead you to the place you want: The perfect person.
credit - http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/20488/reversing-the-bad-relationships-curse