March 4th, 2007

Paranoia Problem

Hey guys.

My girlfriend Rachael and I have been dating each other for nearly 2 years and we have not met yet. (We are both teenagers). I love her very much, I've never felt so strongly about anyone, and I plan to meet her on her eighteenth birthday.

But there's a problem now, we used to talk on the phone a lot, or play games together or talk online. We made due with the distance and we never grew tired of talking to each other.. But now I'm afraid maybe she's found someone else..

She's been coming home very late with poor explanations, and even on weekdays she'll say she wants to go nap, so every day she's gone for about 5 hours after school "napping".

I don't want to say she's the one to cheat, but she did cheat on her ex boyfriend with me until she finally left him.

I hate keeping tabs on her, so I'm not going so far as to call her often asking where she is, or to keep starting fights with her.. But I get so scared that she's doing something behind my back that the love that's in my heart for her is being gradually replaced with anger and pain.

I've tried to talk to her about it, but she gets very angry and says that I must not trust her or think that she loves me at all and it hurts her feelings.

I'm just not sure what I should do.
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    scared scared