January 10th, 2007

  • pwnie

Sigh...

So...  Tom went home early yesterday morning. I know I said I'd post more but I haven't been on the internet more than an hour since he got here. I'm probably going to regret not being able to remember all the things we did together, but the 20 minutes it would have taken me to write about each day would have been 20 less with him.

Anyway, we had a fantastic time. There were problems and issues, still as real and as present as when we're apart, but we talked about them together and he held me when I cried and we had sick days together and late nights and we got lost and aside from my first trip to see him, it has been the best three weeks of my life.

Of course, these last two days have been Hell. I haven't gotten out of bed or gone to school. I've been bawling for going on twenty hours. I know everyone here deals with the pain of having to say goodbye to your loved ones, and I know it hurts just as much. But in our situation, this is kind of the time to do or die.

He lives in England and I in America (West Coast). It's not a matter of a simple plane ride or road trip. We can't just relocate to a different state to be together. We're both considering our future educational plans (college for me, in particular) and there is no easy way to be together. Both of us realize that another year apart will probably mean the end of us as a couple.

I don't know what to do. I'm sure you are some of the few people who don't think I'm being irrational for saying that I know he's the one and that I'm not going to put the effort into a life without him. How do I make it hurt less? We're never as good apart as we are together. ):
  • Current Mood
    crushed crushed