November 17th, 2006

Pathfinder

Relationship Troubles

Well it seems like my relationship is starting to sink. It hasnt been pleasant the last week or so but I think it started way before me and the boyfriend went on vacation. I told him that I it felt like we were drifting apart and he says to me "Dont worry about it, we are not drifting apart." I am like okay fine, I wont worry about it but when things start getting bad, I will let you handle it and I wont do nothing. We dont seem to have nothing in common anymore and my boyfriend feels like he is completing with my interest. He keeps telling me that I need to grow up and start acting my age. I am like what the fuck. I am acting my age. Anthony my boyfriend thinks its stupid that I read fan fiction and that I write fan fiction. He also thinks that its stupid that I watch One Tree Hill, ER, Gilmore Girls, General Hospital, Port Charles, Wrestling, and whatever else I watch. He tells me when I need to go to bed, when I need to get up, when I can drink coffee, what I can and cannot wear. Anthony goes through my computer and deletes stuff he doesnt like and he also goes through my digital camera and deletes shit he doesnt like. Anthony hates my myspace page because it has pictures and banners of Matt & Jeff Hardy. Oh and he also doesnt like my pictures that I uploaded to my myspace. I have no idea how any of this happened. I have no idea where any of this is coming from. We dont talk anymore and when we do talk, we talk about nothing. I just dont know whats going on anymore.

Anthony thinks that I dont make any attempts to go see him. I dont have a fucking car, so I just cant get up and go. When I ask my parents for the car, they say no. it's not my fault that they wont let me use the damn thing. They the boyfriend says that I dont make sacrifices for him. What the hell am i supposed to sacrifice. I have nothing to sacrifice, I dont do anything. I am trying to find a fucking job and do something with my life. I am trying to get registered for classes so I can finish with my BA degree in Digital Recording Arts. He just wants me to pack up all my shit and move in with him. he wants me to transfer schools so I can be near him. I wont have a way of getting around.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is just so frastruating. I have no idea whats going on or whats going to happen. I just dont know?

so I leave this entry with a song, enjoy

Evans Blue - "Eclipsed"
We love our tragedies.
We're both broken in our own little ways
We're broken, but we fit together just right
You know I saw the black inside your eyes
I saw they were eclipsed by mine and they looked just right.

[Chorus:]
When our lips meet, will you know me then
And will you want to know it?
It feels like I've known you for so long.
When our lips meet, will you love me then
and will you ever know it?
It seems like you've known me for so long.

I love your analogies.
We're both crazy in our own little ways
We talk about the future and our past lives.
I know I loved you then.
I know I'd love you now.
I know I'll love you then.
I know I love you now.

[Chorus]

But you can't have everything you want when you want it.
I will be everything you want, when you want it.

Wait for me. Trust for me.
Fall for me. Even when you don't know you're falling for me.
Will you fall for it? If it should, it'll come around again.
But don't wait for me. And don't trust in me. Don't fall me.
Even when you know you're falling for me.

[Chorus]

When our hearts meet, will we make it then.
Will we even notice that they are eclipsed?
  • Current Music
    Evans Blue - "Eclipsed"