February 18th, 2006

Flippin' Miserable

I'm flippin' miserable here, guys. Why? Because Cliff isn't here anymore...well, not for 6 weeks. But its flippin' torture. I don't know what to do since he is not here. I'm so used to waking up on the weekends and getting ready to go out with him. And this morning I was about to do just that and I realized that he isn't here. I wanted to cry. When I went to Odessa last night, I wanted to cry again cuz I knew he wasn't the one who was gonna pick me up from school anymore. He isn't here. There's no one to pick me up, spend endless time with, watch movies with, share kisses with, or do anything that Cliff and I always do. My love is gone. And well, to be frank, there's nothing I can do about it. It's just so sad, ya know? Not having Cliff here with me reminds me of the times when we spent months, and years apart from each other. Painful. Very painful. So now I am back to sleeping with one of the doggies that Cliff gave me. Always thinking that maybe tomorrow will be easier, but so far...it hasn't. Cliff was driving all the way to Minnesota with his dad and his uncle. Cliff said that the roads there were terrible. Cars in the ditch, kind of thing. I was like "oh shit". I sent my baby (CLIFF!!! lol :x) a text message saying that I was home (from a basketball game in Odessa). He then told me that he made it past those roads. And I was happy that he did and it made me sleep a bit easier. And I fell asleep with CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG. Lol one of the doggies Cliff gave me. :) Right now I am waiting to see if he'll get online or call me or something. Cuz he said he would. He said that he would get online as soon as he could and he'd call me too. So here I am waiting and I am anxious too. I can't wait to here that sweet, comforting voice of his. Makes me get special feelings all over. But I wish I could see him. Gosh! I miss him sooo very very badly. It's not even funny how much I miss him. *tears*

*~*Cliff and Joanna Always n' Forever*~*

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phone call between me and Matt's mom:

me: hi
Donna: hi, how are you?
me: I'm good how are you?
Donna: good.. having a good vacation
me: aww, that's good. How long are you down there for?
Donna: a couple more weeks.. We're staying an extra week
me: do you know when you're going home?
Donna: I'm not sure.. a Monday..
me: aw that's good
Donna: ya *somewhat of an awkward silence* So you guys wanna meet this summer?
me: yes
Donna: that'd be so cool!
me: ya I want to really bad
Donna: aw, we have to make it happen!

*happy Sarah*