November 8th, 2005


Last Night

So last night, after Bryanna went to bed, I fixed myself a nice cup of camomile tea, and after that had relaxed me, I actually worked on meditating and Im happy to say last night was the first night I didnt have any rape dreams. I tried writing while Bry was fingerpainting to get rid of the thoughts and it didnt work, so instead of writing, weve both been fingerpainting.......mine are angry looking and hers are innocent...but for the most part ive been able to keep my mind off of things. Bryanna must be sensing somethings wrong with mommy cause she hasnt given me 5 minutes to myself. :)

Amazing - Aerosmith

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin to walk through
The pain
When I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I thought I could leave, but couldn't get out the door
I was so sick and tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishin that I
Would die
It's Amazing
With the blink of an eye you finally see the light
It's Amazing
When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright
It's Amazing
And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight
That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings
You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen to all that righteous talk
I was out on the street
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay
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