Wind in my hair...

Into the darkness...

My friend Ann is in a coma. I have never had a friend who was in a coma before....I feel so powerless, she lives in Seattle and I'm in WI. I can't afford to go and see her, I want to so badly.

Her family is there with her though, and that's good. She has lots of support right now. I just wish I was there for her.

She can hear you to her for me, please tell her I'm right there with her in spirit. Please let her hear you. If there is a god, right now would be the time to know. I wish I knew.

She's one of the good ones, please don't take her now. The world needs her more than ever.

Don't go anywhere Anne, we haven't gone on our trip to Ibiza yet...I can't stop thinking of you.
  • Current Mood
    crushed Entering a realm of darkness..
Wind in my hair...

May you come with your own knives..

You'll never take me alive.

With all the voice of what is true, is there nothing I can do..

Where the willows weep and the whirlpools sleep,
you'll find me...

may someone find me and stay, until I can walk again..
stay until I can see forward, until I can see my soul healing
stay until I can hear myself breathing...
stay so I know you're not leaving

May someone, or something...grant me the strength to fight my nightmare, and watch it ride away..without me...

The water is five feet deep, the mirror beneath and around the well walls reflect the sunlight coming in through the top of the tall, tubular structure. He lowers her into the water slowly, lying with eyes closed and comatose she does'nt realize this. She is lowered until competely submerged..sunlight from above bounces light off of her soaked white gown under the crystal clear water, her long black hair floating around her...she sinks to the bottom of the mirrored well. He disappears..
  • Current Mood
    melancholy Slipping....

help please!!

(my boyfriend is writing this...)

I'm trying to figure out what kind of chemical imbalance I have. When I was young, I was the short weird kid and got picked on a loooooot. A whole lot. Especially grades 1-6 when I was in a Catholic school and literally had not one friend. I had a mini-breakdown early last year (age 22) and was put on prozac for about 9 months to fight anxiety and depression. I've since gone off it (no insurance, plus side effect) and don't have symptoms as bad. When I was on prozac, I gained perspective and clarity in emotions and reactions. Since I've been off it, I get a bit frantic now and then. I'm moderately hypoglycemic for starters---when I get hungry, I become a very irrational and irritable person and can't control my reactions to something that bothers me. When I'm not hungry, I still have fits of...something...every now and then. Anxiety is always present because I'm stressed out to the limits because of money problems (too much credit card debt, student loans, low-paying job, high rent, car maintenance). Every now and then, if something is said that I really shouldn't take personally or overreact to, it feels like I'm being made fun of and I get a bit frantic. I don't really have too much in the way of actual everything-is-awful, no hope in sight depression symptoms, but it does come around once in a blue moon. I can't afford health insurance (or really, anything) right now but know that at some point in time a trip a psychiatrist is necessary. Everything that was wrong with how I was became startlingly clear as being unnecessary when I was on prozac and I know I don't have to put up with being this way, but I want to know exactly what the cause (diagnosis) is. Thanks.

(no subject)

Hi everyone. I am new to this community, so I guess I will tell a little about myself.

I am 23 years old & live in Michigan. I have been diagnosed with depression & anxiety, and I have minor OCD. I do cut my wrists, but am really trying to stop because I have a family vacation coming up where I will be required to wear a bathing suit, and I really don't want my family to find out.

I joined this community because of the name, I really feel like I have nowhere to turn sometimes... I feel like my friends are getting sick of my depression.

So, I guess that is it for now.
  • Current Mood
    okay okay


I guess I forgot to do an intro myself...and since we have three people with the name Charley (in one spelling or another) I figured I would. Which by the way I would like to state that Ive only met one person with the same name, and it was a little girl the other day. I did meet a girl at work who goes by Charley....and heres the weird part, my maiden name is Thomas...and so is her last the other day at work someone walked up to me and asked for Charley Thomas....and I about died trying to figure out how someone knew that name when I hadnt gone by in in over 4 years! Okay enough rambling....

Name: Charley
Age: 21 years old (be 22 in june but it doesnt matter)
Location: I live in Georgia, the united states, lived all over. Ive decided I dont prefer the south anymore
Place of employment: toys r us


I have two children, a little girl who turned 3 on the 18th of January (last week) her name is Bryanna. She goes by Anna. And I have a son, Zackary, we call him Zacky Wacky, who was born on Dec 27th, 2005. I was married for 3 1/2 years to their father but hes a pedafile. So no he doesnt have any contact with them, and in fact he thinks I had a miscarriage with Zach so he doesnt even know he exsists. So I currently live with my mother, until I can figure something out. Oh and Im currently rebattling my anorexia to lose the baby weight. But remembering Im breast feeding is helping with that and God knows I cant forget that. Oh and I am pagan although I had my daughter christianed Catholic and will probably do the same to Zach. Its a family tradition.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

New Meds

I had a baby almost a month ago (it will be a month on the 27th) and I have been breastfeeding the baby, but Ive been having problems producing breast milk so my doctor put me on a new medication that is supposed to help with that. Its called Reglan. But unfortunatly its got side effects, and one of those side effects, present in every patient that takes it, according to my doctor, is SEVERE depression. I think its because its a downer but Im not sure.
Its the only one offered in the US. I did have the option of getting one through canada that stops dopamine production (dopamine is part of chemical depression) which after a little more research, reglan does too and then one that stops skitzophrenia.

I was also reading up on production problems and it CAN be caused by high levels of dopamine (which from what I understand is the cause of my mania)

It sucks, I finally get out of the depressive slum after having him and stuff and now Im starting a medication that will make me severly depressed...the good news is, like all downers and anti depresents it will take 2 weeks for that to take effect. But hey at least my son will be getting the best for him.
  • Current Music
    hurt nin

Ummmmmmmm ...... hi

I'm a member of this community, but I never actually posted, so I figured I'd post and say hi...
sooo.... hi.... um I dunno what else to put.... my names charlie *points weakly to username*
as that says...... and, considering I'm a member of this community, you've gotta guess I got problems...

right. I'm done attempting to post for now. so hi

  • Current Music
Michelle, Chloe


Name: Chelle
Age: 17, will be 18 on 1/27
Interests: painting, reading, watching tv (CSI, Law and Order, etc), writing (poems, essays, fantasy), I love to talk about everything, I love to debate and have intellectual conversations.
Emotional Problems: yes, see a therapist and am on meds BLAH!

I would like to have people to talk to, I am a great listener and just feel like having a place to be that has others who understand what its like the think that life sux sometimes.

  • Current Mood
    drained drained