You know what they say 'bout my attention-span? How it's not worth shit?
See, here I'd been thinkin' that bint was goin' t'at the very least give me a nice blow-job, shag, whatever... but oh no. She had t'go 'round and 'round, toyin' and teasin' and when I finally had enough of it and decided t'just eat her? Those fuckin' spikes showed up on my face again.
I walked away in disgust -- at both me and at her -- then ran right on into some... demon or what not all in red.
I was truly beginnin' t'hate this place. Takin' a drag, I sighed deeply at the thing before me. "Look, mate, I don't want your fancy spells or potions or shit, got it? You go take your little robe and play Obi-Fuck-Kenobi somewhere else, got it?"
He didn't seem t'be listenin' t'me much, just lookin' me up and down. Figured. Same old shit.
((Open to The First))