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1 Golden Slumber | Get back homeward

Intervention [10 Apr 2006|05:55pm]

[ mood | indescribable ]

I tried to hold in the tears, but they seemed to spill out anyway. We were back in the lobby of the Hyperion, and everything was... clean. No bodies, nothing that made it look like there had even been a fight and yet there had been. There had been.

I wiped at my eyes and stood up slowly, my brain still trying to take in everything that had happened during the short time in Pylea. It didn't make sense. Even Willow had looked strangely at Xander. Now, as I stood next to my best friend and I looked at our other friend, I tried to see him there.

I tried to see the Xander we all knew. The one who'd led us in ths Scooby Pledge. The one who had lost his eye in a fight pretty much where we were standing. The one who had crushed on Cordelia, who had always brought us donuts during time in the library, who hadn't gone to college. The guy who'd ended up being the reliable one.

The one we all needed and could trust.

The trust was somehow broken, a little. And I sure as hell wasn't seeing that same Xander when I looked into his face.

Holding Willow's hand, I simply whispered, "What the hell was all that about, Xand?"

((Open to Xander & Willow))

Get back homeward

Home [05 Apr 2006|01:32am]

They were back.

The hotel looked different and sounded different and tasted different and right now I couldn't appreciate a single one. Here had been so warm before, the moment I first stepped inside, with all of them around me. Even after Willow spoke, even after I got pulled away and shielded from the worst of things. This entire place was warm.

And now the only warmth I knew was me...the sticky, hot red that was still running down my arm, and catching in all the little crevices of my hands, and under the nails. When it got that far it was so hard to wash away. And now they were all going to know exactly where to look, and where the worst of things were. I flushed what little color I was able to, embarassed at my hysterics inside the cave. That they'd happened without my will or want was besides the point. Or maybe the point exactly, I wasn't sure. That place had gotten to me all over again, worked under my skin and now was running down the outsides of it. And every last one of them could see.

I absolutely refused to cry.

Everyone was still blinking. Still unsure and distracted. And being back in Pylea had reminded me of other things too. How to be a place and not be seen, how to disapear all together. And how to run. I did all of them, moving up the stairs with as much quiet as I'd ever mustered before, slipping into my room with something like a thankful sob.

Which was as close to crying as I was going to get.

I collapsed onto the bed, sitting there and still holding my arm. Knowing that the rest of the rooms couldn't be far behind. Sooner or later they'd find me. It was what they did.

I just hoped I was ready for that.

((open to anyone))

Get back homeward

Glass Houses [23 Mar 2006|04:19pm]

Wesley was about to start looking for anyone else in the vicinity of the caves when the sound of approaching voices made it unnecessary. He made out both Gunn and Xander outside and curiously, Willow and was that Faith, from deeper in the caverns. "It looks like everyone's making the gathering part easy enough."

Throwing stonesCollapse )

1 Golden Slumber | Get back homeward

Dinner conversation [13 Mar 2006|12:39pm]

[ mood | aggravated ]

The one good thing about getting beat up when you're a vampire is that you can pretty much just literally "walk it off". We heal up pretty damn quick unless we've had a limb cut off or something, and it's even faster if we get some blood into us while we're mending. It was nice to find that little house on the Pylean prairie just a mile or two from where I'd thrown down with Xander Harris v2.0, and even better to find that it was a human house.

So, with the sun starting to dip down, I was feeling pretty hale and hearty, even if I still didn't know what the hell to do about getting my ass back to Earth.

Not that I'd admit it to anyone, but things were looking pretty bleak for the bad guys. I had no idea where the fuck Faith was, whether she'd gotten sent here with the rest of the gang, or if she was left back in L.A., where she was probably having the time of her life right now. I was still on The First's leash, and knowing what I knew about Pylea, I didn't figure that was any different here.

And Spike, he was...

He was walking right toward me.

I spotted him coming over the hill, probably attracted by the scent of human blood on the air, coming from my little dinner party. One of the mewling former "cows" was still whimpering on the ground where I'd left him, and I figured I'd be a good sire for five minutes and leave the snack for Spike.

As usual, he was looking insufferably smug about something. I glanced over at the prone human.

"Stay, have a bite, and tell me where the fuck you've been."

((Open to Spike))

3 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

Wandering [07 Mar 2006|10:38am]

I wandered.

There really wasn't any other way to describe the aimless and purposely time-consuming manner in which I walked over the terrain, always keeping the caves in sight, but never quite having an actual destination. Insanely, my initial purpose in wandering was to give the unpredictably aggressive Slayer-turned-vampire ample opportunity to attack me from behind. Of course, this also meant I was giving Faith just as much time to reconsider that particular action.

When, after ten or fifteen minutes had passed, I found myself decidedly not deceased, I found that I had apparently gambled successfully and Faith was, at least for the moment, not interested in taking my life.

It had been a very risky gamble, and one that I wondered I would be constantly making from this day onward. Faith, I was sensing, would always be the failure I would always be trying to erase from the record and the debt I would always owe. Fair or not, true or not, it would take more than a little sacrifice on my part to settle that account.

Somehow, I knew Buffy would not be happy with the situation. But I did hope she would understand my need to make the attempt.

Finally having had enough of the scenic tour of this corner of Pylea, I turned in the direction of the caves and picked up a brisk pace. Hearing voices, I was glad to know that people had begun gathering in the shelter-- light was dimming, and quickly. I stepped through the mouth of the cave to see Buffy and Fred just finishing some conversation.

Instinctively, I wanted to back away. Not that I imagined the two women were discussing me, and not that I imagined the conversation would be unflattering. There didn't seem to be any animosity or frustration in the air, but there was just something inherently frightening about seeing one's significant other conversing with one of one's best friends of the same gender.

Once they saw me, of course, I knew I was stuck.

"Ladies," I offered, attempting to quell my senseless disquiet.

((Open to Buffy and Fred))

6 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

911 Is A Joke [29 Jan 2006|04:24pm]

[ mood | confused ]

Okay, so I ain't even close to bein' a boy scout. Not like I even had a compass or map to check, and damn if I could remember what side of the trees the moss was supposed to grow-- North? South? Would it even be the same direction in Pylea?

Anyway, I tought I might actually be gettin' close to the caves when I saw the shape of someone walkin' towards me. I waved, and got a wave back, so I figured it hadda be one of ours. Didn't figure for one of the local baddies to be that friendly, demon or human.

A minute later, I could tell it was Xander, who I guessed must've gone for a walk himself. A minute after that, though, I got that bad feelin' everybody in Star Wars always talks about. Xander looked like he'd taken his walk right through Compton wearin' an "I Hate Rap" t-shirt.

I ran up and threw the guy's arm over my shoulder before he collapsed.

"The hell happened to you?"

((Open to Xander))

4 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

[11 Jan 2006|01:19pm]

[ mood | drained ]

I couldn't believe Wes. Fucking asshole. Still hadn't changed a bit since SunnyD. What a fucking shocker. When he turned his back on me like that? Yeah, I knew he was trying to test me and shit, but he'd already done it to me once, offering his arm.

Like I'd bite him even if I was starving.

My head, though, was hurting bad. Damn voices were still there, but this wasn't the way Angelus or even Bleach Boy had talked about it. Nah, this was all different. Guess they'd made up some extra-special version of a fucked-up soul just for me. I eyed B talking to Fred and just shook my head.

Of course, it wasn't like she was the only one to blame for all this shit. Actually, it was Willow's if you wanted to get down to it. She was off talking to her little dyke Slayer wannabe, and I thought about killing her. The girl, not Willow. Hey, I was hungry and stuck with the White Hats for now and I knew for damn sure that they were underestimating me, thinking that just cuz some soul was shoved up inside me that I was this thing of beauty.

I'd heard the stories about Angel with a soul -- he sure as hell wasn't the savior these fucking idiots thought he was.

ReflectionsCollapse )

Fuck this shit. Thinking like this made my brain hurt more than the voices. Without deciding exactly what I should do here, I at least decided what I should do next. Walking up to Willow, I yanked on her arm and pulled her away from the wannabe. Sighing, I nodded at her, waiting for an explanation, then finally just outright asking her.

"Why the fuck did you do it? Why did you give me a soul? You of all people should've known better, Willow."

((Open to Willow))

Get back homeward

Makin' Myself Useful [09 Dec 2005|03:44pm]

[ mood | busy ]

Fred took off to talk with Buffy, which was cool with me. The way the girl was feelin', I figured at least for now, it was better for Fred to be doin' stuff instead of thinkin' about it. Bein' our resident Pylea expert, the group was gonna be leanin' on her pretty heavy in the next little while, and I knew she was strong enough to do it. I just, y'know, was hopin' she'd be okay with it.

We really, really had to get our asses outta here, and now, or else we was all gonna go crazy.

Lookin' around, I walked around the caves a little, at least as far as I could still see without a flashlight or anything. It wasn't he Westin Bonaventure, but it looked plenty big enough to hold everybody, and it'd keep us dry. We'd either have to rig up some kinda door or more likely set up a watch to make sure nothin' nasty decided to wake us all up.

Makin' my way back outside, I started gatherin' whatever wood I could find that looked about right to get a fire goin'. I remembered that was pretty much the number one priority back when Wes and me were hangin' with the local branch of the Rebel Alliance. I wasn't a Boy Scout-- hell, I wasn't even a Fresh Air Fund kid-- but I think I was doing okay.

Walking a little past the caves, I stopped short. Somethin' smelled awful. And, bein' a guy, I hadda go check it out.

There wasn't much left of the bodies. Whatever this fight had been about, it was over a long time ago. Not much in the small clearin' but bones and just enough to keep up the smell. Some of the skeletons looked pretty human to me. Others, not so much. Leaning down, I picked up a short sword that somebody or something had dropped. Not too much rust, still usable.

Figurin' it was proably a fight between the two sides of our little coup, I tried to remember the direction the place was, and headed back to the caves.

10 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

Past in the Present [30 Nov 2005|01:10am]

[ mood | pensive ]

"Hey Gunn, mind if I borrow her for a bit?" I smiled at him as I motioned with my hands for Fred to follow me so we could talk privately. In a cave.

Hey, it was the best I could do. I'd been feeling pretty sorry for myself and it was time I actually did something about it, like talk to Fred. Fred, who I'd been meaning to talk to in ages. The last time I spoke to her was out of sheer anger. She and Gunn and some bad liquor combined with that truth spell had forced me to admit to them my completely inappropriate and mixed-up feelings regarding Angel. Later, though, I'd learned from Wes that somehow, he, Fred, and Cordelia had all talked and... it had been fine.

The one thing I'd been so upset about for so long? The time when Wes' friends had deserted him -- twice -- in favor of Angel? Somehow those three had worked it all out. Somehow Fred and Cordelia had managed to say the words, "I'm sorry" to Wes. Two simple words he'd been dying to hear for far too long, words that I'd given to him freely...

We had fractured ourselves for too long, and ok, fine. So I was slightly protective of my boyfriend and pissy at Fred for telling Wes she was going to "save Angel". She also finally said she was wrong to him, and I'd never gotten a chance to talk to her about that.

Or had I? I could've sworn I had been talking to Fred last in the battle...

Shaking my head, I rubbed my arms to keep them warm and just smiled at her. "Um. Ok. First off? I wanted to say thanks to you. For what you said to Wes.... I mean you and Cordelia... well, you didn't get to see the full-extent of Fred-induced-happiness on him." I blew out my breath.

"And, I wanted to apologize to you for the way I acted. I know, I know, big shocker. Buffy runs off at the mouth, but... I'm sorry. Really."

Hopefully, we could all put it in the past and just move on. Right?

"Um, so... do you hate me?"

((Open to Fred))

9 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

Did someone say they needed a leader? [30 Nov 2005|12:35am]

[ mood | crappy ]

((Cont from HERE))

You know what they say 'bout my attention-span? How it's not worth shit?

They're right.

See, here I'd been thinkin' that bint was goin' t'at the very least give me a nice blow-job, shag, whatever... but oh no. She had t'go 'round and 'round, toyin' and teasin' and when I finally had enough of it and decided t'just eat her? Those fuckin' spikes showed up on my face again.

I walked away in disgust -- at both me and at her -- then ran right on into some... demon or what not all in red.

I was truly beginnin' t'hate this place. Takin' a drag, I sighed deeply at the thing before me. "Look, mate, I don't want your fancy spells or potions or shit, got it? You go take your little robe and play Obi-Fuck-Kenobi somewhere else, got it?"

He didn't seem t'be listenin' t'me much, just lookin' me up and down. Figured. Same old shit.

((Open to The First))

8 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

Trap [09 Nov 2005|02:06pm]

[ mood | hungry ]

Walking around in the sunshine was a nice novelty, but it was getting pretty damn old pretty damn quick. I still didn't know what the hell I was going to do next and how I was going to get back to my own plane of existence, and I definitely had not idea how I was going to get a goddamn meal without sprouting horns all over my face.

The good guys, on the other hand, seemed to be acclimating to the new situation like a bunch of girl scouts, and that didn't improve my mood much, either.

If it had been me and not Angel in the driver's seat the last time they'd come through this dimension, things would be a snap. I'd just head into town, find the first red-robe I could and demand to be taken to whatever muckity-muck could get me in touch with the Wolf, Ram or Hart's representative, and since I was the right hand vamp for their boss, I'd get fedex'ed straight ack to earth. But now, thanks to the Angel Investigations losers, the bad folks weren't the ones in charge anymore.

As if I couldn't hate Angel any more.

I'd found the caves, and at some point, Spike was going to be heading back, looking for someone to pay atttention to him again. I needed a plan. Or at least something to do.

Hell answered my prayers, when who should I have seen coming over a rise but mister boy hostage himself, Xander Harris? I caught his scent, which seemed a little off, but then we were in another dimension. Then, I found myself a nice little stand of trees to hide myself in, and I waited. There was no bullshit Sanctuary spell this time, I thought.

When he finally came into view, I sprang out of the cover.

((Open to Xander))

Get back homeward

Scattered Pictures [08 Nov 2005|04:00pm]

[ mood | lonely ]

I was trying so hard to remember everything, and failing completely.

Not completely, but, it was more like bits and pieces of a puzzle that I didn't know how to put together of a picture that I'd never seen.

I remember green. There was green, and... I had been talking to... someone. Who was I talking to before I woke up? Mentally, I tried to recreate everything about the battle, where everyone had been standing. I was sure that was the key, somehow.

Fred. Maybe? Had I been talking to Fred just before...?

Frowning as I watched Wes and his little gang o' pals all talking, I wondered -- not for the first time -- what had happened to our group. The Scoobies. Me, Will, Xand. Heck, I was just about ready to break out the Scooby Pledge, I was feeling so alone and... unwanted. Un-needed. Everyone had their place here, except for me.

But... wasn't that what I'd always wanted? To just be Buffy and not the Slayer? We had two others besides me here already (alright, one was still questionable), but still. Maybe I could quit. It wasn't like I hadn't done that before. I could quit, I could get back to L.A. and not worry about fighting or evil or anything.

Kennedy could take over. She liked that sort of thing anyway. And me? I could just be with Wes and we could...

But we couldn't... because Wes wouldn't. He'd never give up this life that we had thrust on us, and maybe that was the difference. He was a leader who didn't want to lead, but would. I was a Slayer who had to lead, but didn't want to. That was when it hit me... that I really, really didn't want to.

Even if I gave it all to Kennedy, then what? There would never be a white-picket-fence in my future, not with Wes in my life. So, do I give up the life I've always wanted now that it's within reach, or do I give up Wes? God, we'd actually had this discussion somewhat in reverse ages ago, when he'd come back to the hotel injured. He wouldn't let me go, even when I saw that just being mortal wasn't good enough in this war.

But, here? There wasn't a war. There were others to do my job, and the world would still revolve. Watching Wes talk with Faith made me slightly jealous, too, and I couldn't even say why. Because of Sunnydale? Because she had been his Slayer, too?

I just sat in the corner of the cave, my broken shoes in my hands, cuts and bruises slowly healing... alone.

2 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

Less in the Dark [30 Oct 2005|10:28am]

The minute we entered the first section of caves, the light above my hand flared brighter and bluer, not so much reacting to the elements there, and my intent. It was moments like this that I truely appreciated the changes the last few months had brought, as the steps between then and now shortened. Beofre there would have been the concious thought. Is this all there should be? Do I push it that much further? Is it worth the risk?

But now we step into the dark and I am willing to give myself over to it again, the natural, healthy way magic could still flow through me. If I allowed it. And didn't fight it. I could see now how many of my problems had come from just that. Every wall I'd built created an opportunity for the rest of it to creep in. All the things that go bump in the night -- the bad, the worse, and myself. You interupt the flow, you interupt the connection. And when you don't have that? It's when you really falter.

Then fall.

It didn't mean that I still didn't air on the side of caution. But I'd stopped hiding too. Thanks to my friends, and thanks to the woman walking next to me. It's didn't seem unconnected that I had almost the exact same questions when Kennedy had begun to work her way into my life., especially after our first kiss.

Is this all there should be? Do I push this even further? Is it worth the risk?

True, Kennedy did a bit more of the pushing, than being pushed in the beginning. But that didn't mean I didn't follow every step of the way. Healed a little more, with each one.

I tilted my head to flash her a smile, silent smile of gratitute -- aware of the new grace and strength she had adapted to so well. Nothing which seemed to be hindered, but that didn't mean I couldn't ask one more time.

"You're really ok?"

((Open to Kennedy))

6 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

Fancy Meetin' You Here [26 Oct 2005|09:24pm]

[ mood | thoughtful ]

Left Willow and Kennedy as they were headin' into the caves, followin' the glow of whatever little mojo nugget the redhead had called up into her hand. There was a time, even after havin' spent the better part of my years fightin' vampires and the occasional demon, that a demonstration of magic as casual and simple as that woulda blown my mind. Now, most of my best friends had worked magic at some time, and I'd even taken part in a spell once or twice.

So, my job was to scare up more of us, however many of us made it here to Pylea. My head was still fuzzy on details, and it had already been a while since I'd woken up. Really seemed like I wouldn't be remembering anything concrete about the big fight we'd all been in anytime soon.

Kinda creeped me out, but a tiny part of me was kinda glad we had, though. Here in Pylea, we were away from everything back at home. Away from the fighting for our lives, away from The First and Wolfram & Hart. Most importantly for me was away from Lilah Morgan and my deal. For about the ten thousandth time since I'd signed my name on that dotted line, I cursed myself out all silent for having done what I'd done. Did I have good intentions about it? Yeah. Did I still figure I could turn the situation to my advantage? Sure. But honestly, I woulda given just about anything now to just make it disappear.

'Cause then, I'd just about lost everything I had and coulda cared about. Now, things were different. Now, there was family and friends again, and there was even some hope. Now...

And speakin' of now, who should I have spotted comin' up over the next rise? Fred. I grinned.

"Yo, Fred!"

((Open to Fred))

Get back homeward

I Spy [23 Oct 2005|03:55pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

Mine and Lilah's forced cooperation lasted just about as long as anyone in their right mind would have expected-- something a little under fifteen minutes. The telepathic connection hadn't carried over to Pylea, and without The First as a convenient common enemy around to redirect our usual animosity, we were all but literally at each other's throats.

Lilah and I finally crested a rise. In one direction, she saw a settlement about a mile's trudge away. Opposite that, I saw figures moving, people close enough through my vamire's eyes for me to recognize humans. Before we could get into a fight-- that is, before I murdered her-- Lilah suggested the split-up. Muttering something about wanting at least something to sit on that was more comfortable than a grassy knoll.

Rolling my eyes at her back as she receded into the distance, I headed in the other direction, stopping every ten or twenty yards to keep from being noticed. It was when I was within a hundred feet that I finally managed to ID them, and the sight made my jaw drop.

Faith? What in every hell dimension there is, what the fuck was Faith doing walking around with Wesley? She was a bad guy, for Pete's sake, the one and only, evilest there is, Slayer-Vampire. Bad, mean, cruel and hungry... and making time with her old Watcher like they were strolling down the Santa Monica pier after a date.

I pointed my feet in another direction and started walking. If this kept up, not only would I not be wetting my whistle anytime, Buffy's people had just been handed the equivalent of a nuclear bomb to use on their ide of the fight. Swell.

4 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

Oz is just a fairytale. And I don't believe in fairytales... [20 Oct 2005|02:01am]

[ mood | confused ]

I slowly raised my head from the ground, where it had been laying for, probably the last sixteen hours. Damn, who'd I try and drink under the table last night? I couldn't remember drinking so much, actually, rarely, if at all since my last little chaser. The one in which Angel came in uninvited and saved my ass.

But, I was a cop's daughter, and I was a cop myself. And I knew the distinct feeling of having too much beer or hard liquor in your system.

Because the minute I raised my head? I realized it was probably one of the biggest mistakes I'd ever made, and I put it back down.

I knew I needed to suck it up, and get up. For God's sake, I was on someone's lawn. Whose? Damned if I knew. But they probably wouldn't like it too much when they came out for the paper, and saw an adult blonde woman, passed out on their grass like some college slut.

Now those were the days. Throwing them back with the boys, and doing the Walk Of Shame probably more than my Dad would have ever allowed, if he'd even known. Or if he'd cared past the fact that his little girl was fitting right in with the boys, and not making a fool of him like he first feared.

R.I.P. Trevor. You got everything you wanted in life. A career that no other cop could touch, and a daughter who was the son you'd always wanted.

Not that, any of this psychoanalyzing or nostalgia was helping with the fact that I had no memory of the events that put me face down on... all this lushness.

I finally raised my head, ignoring the consequences of the liquid feeling of my brain, and of the grass imprints on my face. Digging both palms into the ground, and sliding my body up to a sitting position, I noticed several things;

I could count at least two suns.

Everyone that I could see looked pretty damned confused.

And we definitely weren't in Los Angeles anymore.

"Okay," I said. "That's it."

Garnering my strength and years of strength training, I managed to pull myself to my feet. Not exactly the easiest task, but I accomplished it.

Putting my hands on my hips, I called out to anyone, and practically everyone.

"Who the Hell put something in my drink, what exactly was it, and just know that I will kick your ass just as soon as my vision's back to seeing only one sun."

((Open to whoever))

4 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

Not exactly in Kansas anymore... [12 Oct 2005|03:50pm]

[ mood | bored ]

I was standin' 'round, waitin', waitin', waitin'... always fuckin' waitin'. Miss L and Angelus wanted t'go see some people they said were here? Fine by me. I just wanted t'get back and find all the White Hats and kill 'em all.

Not on account of The First tellin' me I had t'do it or anythin'. Frankly, I was just soddin' bored.

I was also runnin' out of fags pretty quick. Right. So's here we were, bein'... bored. Sighin', I walked away from the big ole doorway Miss L was at, and began investigatin'. Well, there were some tasties 'round these parts, at least, and I walked up t'one with a smile on my face.

"Hey there, luv," I drawled as I draped an arm 'round her, leadin' her away t'some little deserted place. After snoggin' for a good long while -- since frankly, I really was too hungry t'fuck her first, so's a snog would have t'do -- but as my face began t'change, somethin' was wrong.

Heard a scream, which isn't unusual... but... my face felt wrong. Couldn't think right, couldn't bite her -- oh, and that brought back lovely memories of the chip thank-you-very-much. Everythin' seemed t'go back t'normal, though, but it felt like I had a soddin' headache, and my food had run off.


Ah, well, another girl seemed t'pop on by fairly quickly and I made my way t'go chat her up and try again.

"You lost, pet?"

((Open to Aries, the Ram))

10 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

Olive Branches [30 Sep 2005|04:11pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

"Well... ahem. Yeah, ok, so we know where we are, why Faith's not dust... we still don't know why or how to get home. I'm going to say that we all head off to those caves over there."

I wasn't so sore from my, ah, altercation with Faith that I didn't recognize Buffy's idea as an excellent one. Nodding, I looked around again, making out the figures of some of our other fellow travelers, scattered around the meadows and hills.

"I'll pass the word along to the others, then."

Watching Buffy and Cordelia head off towards the caves, I made a silent wish that I wouldn't find them next pulling each other's hair and hurling invectives at one another. I trusted Buffy not to hurt Cordy, of course, at least not physically-- she had too much experience controlling her Slayer strength than that-- but the two women seemed as incompatible as oil and water, which with one my girlfriend and the other one of my best friends, put me right in the middle.

Turning to Faith, who continued to glower and seemed to be checking herself for signs of demonic anatomy, I sighed. If ever there was an awkward situation to end all awkward situations, this might well have been it.

"You're, ah, welcome to come, if you'd like," I offered.

"And the physical changes that Cordelia described only manifest if and when you choose to shift into your 'game face' form. Here, the vampiric demon manifests itself wholly, not just by distorting your features. And I wouldn't advise it. It took a great deal of effort for Angel to undo the change."

Under the pretense of regaining my bearings, I turned back away from her.

"We'll bring you back with us," I said, "this wasn't meant as an attack. We were hoping to bring you back."

((Open to Faith))

6 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

Just like Home [28 Sep 2005|10:14pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

I didn't like this. This feeling of not being in charge, not making the calls. Ok, fine, so Wes and I were technically co-leaders but it felt like he was going to be calling the shots -- or worse. That Fred, Gunn, and Cordelia would be...

Yeah. Cordelia. Who I was somewhat getting along with at the moment, but that never lasted with us. Somehow, she could always bring out the Sunnydale brat in me. We'd see...

"Ouch," I complained as I tripped over a twig, effectively ruining the heel of one of my boots. "Oh, you've got to be kidding." Sighing, I pulled the heel off and walked with Cordelia toward the caves where Fred and Xander were headed.

Basically? I was sick of talking to Faith and/or having her talk to me, so I decided she could spend some quality time with Wes. Hey, they had a history and everything. He just helped re-ensoul her, she tried to throttle him... it would all work out ok.

Hobbling slightly as I walked, I turned to Cordelia. She hadn't reacted much when I'd told her about the "why" Faith was here with a soul, so I figured yay for us. However, she also hadn't reacted much when I'd brought up Angel's name, which could be good or bad. Knowing her? It was hard to say.

"So, um," I started off carefully, "Queen? You? Must've been like fulfilling a life-long dream or something." I could picture it completely, everyone bowing to her while she got to wear some sparkly tiara. She probably had her own slaves and... wait, I thought Wes had said humans were slaves and demons were in charge? Ok, I was confused now.

"How could you be a queen if you were a human? Or, is that little bit of demon in you something that qualifies you?" I smirked, shaking my head, then promptly stubbing a toe along the way.

I decided Pylea was definitely not a place made for Slayers.

"Did Angel turn all green?" I asked quickly, out of curiosity, then regretted it. The "A" word. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up Angel... I know that you and he..." Were what? Lovers? Friends? Both? God, how selfish was I that I could still care that much about Angel when I loved Wes?

"Actually, I don't really know much about you and Angel," I amended.

I wasn't sure I wanted to.

((Open to Cordelia))

4 Golden Slumbers | Get back homeward

[18 Sep 2005|11:14am]

[ mood | anxious ]

"Right, then. As each of us is familiar with Pylea, at least to some exent -- Then it's best we split up to muster the troops. Xander, Fred, see who you might be able to find. Cordelia and I will head in the other direction. Once we've got a few, we'll return here, and continue like that."

I just nodded to Wesley, and then without a second glance back I began to work by way in the opposite direction, Xander just at my side. I was...annoyed. Annoyed and just past slightly angry and healthily afraid at where we where, and how easily my feet moved over places I had worked so hard on forgetting. That I'd thought I had been successful at. My eyes never rested in one place, looking for the others....and others besides them.

Deep down I knew Pylea would never be the bad dream I'd once wished it to be. But...it wasn't supposed to be a recurring one either.I had made sure of it, in the things never being exactly the same way again sort of decision. I had watched all of...everyone struggle with the same sort of thing. Buy this decision -- this Pylea -- it was mine.

I guess I hadn't followed through. It had felt like I did. It had hurt like I did. It had hurt them like I did.

And now it was happening all over again.

I started walking faster, still looking for anyone that I know. Voice low, I felt my words direct themselves at Xander, despite everything, still curious.

"What are you thinking?"

((Open to Xander))

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