You exist. You, at this moment, are alive, sentient, and literate. You are a citizen of a nation that allows internet access. You are either of male or female, either as important as the other for the survival of the species. You speak English, the most widely spoken language on the planet. You have two pairs of 23 chromosomes, creating a unique genetic code for your being. All of these facts are at least semi-obvious. Science or common sense have proven them. But something that common sense cannot seem to grasp is that you, me, nearly every other person on this planet, and every above mentioned sentence, does not matter. You. Don't. Fucking. Matter.
Your actions at this very moment are not going to change anything. They won't start a ripple that will become a wave. They won't make you a better person in the future. Changes are, even if you do become the leader of a country that is a world power, you won't be remembered. Take a standard textbook for a Contemporary World Civilization Honors class at Masuk Highschool in Monroe, CT. It has approximately 1,033 pages in it. Trust me, I looked. Let's assume that, on average, ten individuals are mentioned, not even explained in full, merely mentioned on each page. That means, that in one year of highschool, we learn the names of approximately 10,330 (1) individuals who are important enough to be recorded in history. Basic reasoning dictates that approximately 1/4 of those individuals will be decided by the educater to be unimportant, and thus, won't be on any study guides or on the finals for that class. Thus, we are left with 7,747.5 names. Hell, for the sake of optimism, I'll kick that figure up to 7,748. Seven thousand, seven hundred, fourty-eight individuals are to be remembered for testing purposes. There are approximately 6,000,000,000 people alive in the world today. Let's jump from History into Math for a moment, shall we? A simple percent equation is X/100=y/z, where y and z equal important figures. So, again, for the sake of optimism, I will say that we make Y equal to 7,748 and Z equal to 6,000,000,000 (2). X, which is equal to your percent chance of becoming an individual worthy of being written down in a text book is 0.000129125 (3). Not even a whole fucking percent. Hell, not even a half of a percent. You know why this is? It's because you, as the individual, are not worth a flying damn.
Some of you may still want to continue working, in the hopes of that fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent being your person. Go for it, with my blessing. But I ask you, why is it that you, the optimist who believes that you are capable of being important enough to make it into a text book, are still reading my essay right now? Why aren't you working on algrbra, so that you may one day calculate the equation for time in it's relation to shape and size? Why aren't you studying biology, so that one day you may find the cure for AIDs? Why aren't you researching the political infrastructure of your nation, so that you may one day rise to the top of it and hold a grand revolution that will go down in history books as the day that your nation rose above all others? Why? Because you know that somewhere, deep down inside of you, you lack the will to do it. You lack the motivation. You know that I'm right. You know that you life, in itself, has no meaning, and will not amount to jack shit worth remembering. So before you realize that your whole life has been wasted for naught, give up. You won't make anything of your existance before you die, so just give up now.
Accept it. I did, and I'm happy knowing that I'm only a number on a chart. I'm happy knowing that I won't amount to anything worth remembering. Hell, you should be too. While you and your life don't matter in the least, happieness is still important. Enjoy it, don't let it go.
-To be continued with an essay on happieness-
Notes, erratta, and the like:
(1) This figure is actually grossyly larger than it needs to be. If we consider that certain individuals get entire sections to themselves, it eliminates the chance for others to be recorded there. A good deal of the book is written about geography of regions, which also eliminates the space for names. Furthermore, we'd never finish the entire book in a single year of highschool. A completely realistic number would be about a third of this, but I'm trying to keep these figures as high as possible so as to not be a total downer.
(2) This is done mostly because if I were to calculate the number of people to ever have lived along with the number of people who are alive today, it would become an even more depressing figure when I calculate this equation. And this is a happy, realistic essy.
(3) If you are one of the two individuals who saw this essay before it was edited for typing, you'll realize that this number is much higher (a whole two decimal places) than my previous number. This is due to the fact that my algebra class is hardly the appropriate time to write an essay while attempting to keep track of one's own figures as well as taking notes. All apologies.
A special thanks goes to: Becky, Jae, Jaimie, Ant, and Meg. Becky, the girl who sits next to me in Algebra, for her help during the writing of this essay; without her help, I wouldn't have the correct number of zeros for 6 billion, or the correct number of chromosomes in the human body. Jae, for being an inspiration for nearly every essay I write. Jaimie, for backing me up on my essays and convincing me that they don't suck. Ant and Meg, thanks for taking time out of your school day to read this before anyone else did. It means alot to me that you did that for me.
Now, on a closing note, I'd like to say that I am in no way trying to make people give up hope. I am not trying to make people commit suicide. I'm merely giving a realistic view on life and human importance. In this day and age, what it takes to be remembered is a lofty prize which is becoming progressively hard to grasp as time and science progress.
Thank you for your time and energy.
Yeah, Rachael asked that I post this here. I hope you all like it. Rachael, I'll respond to your comment tomorrow, I have very little time tonight