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gargoule in _noiresensus

In Compression

Title: In Compression...of sorts
Author: Hecate's Brat & hecatesbrat@gmail.com
Webjournal: http://www.journalfen.net/users/hecatesbrat/
Fandom: FF8 for the most part
Rating: M15
On Going (WIP)/One-off/Series: One shot.
Classification(s): AU
Warnings: Language (i think...), OOC, spoilers
Pairing(s): Seifer implied with a brunette and another blonde ^_~
Author's Notes: *smiles*
Summary: A dream from time compression haunts Seifer


The morning lent itself to the sun stretching and filtering through the dark wooden blinds, leaving careless sunny blocks on the bed covers. The sounds of snores that filled and danced through the air came from his lovers. It was a long time since everyone was able to sleep peacefully without being woken from his nightmares or others. It would have been a lazy day; a day where breakfast in bed would have been done, or perhaps with all lounging on the couch and its cushions feeding each other bits of fruit.

Instead, something inside of him wanted to wake them, make them sit awake with him while he faced his fears. The creeping fears that held him fast in the dark of the night; but now came boldly during the day. Seifer sat, trying to control his breathing, trying to push back at the visions that hunted him; that filled his mind with long ago images mixed with a taint of something darker and new, but still familiar.

It was always the same too. The pain from the compression of time followed by the swirling grey of smoke or mist. It burned the lungs like smoke, but felt cool on the skin like mist. It left senses in a state of vertigo, confused and dizzy. Perhaps thats what it was meant to do, perhaps that was just the effects of the compression.

Whatever it was, it crept through him, slip sliding infectious. Part of him could feel it change his being; the other parts of him welcomed it with fearful anticipation. He wasn't sure what was going to happen; would it sweep over him like some maddness, rutting and devouring till he could do nothing but be lost in the sea of power, or would it fester inside, killing him slowly. Tearing him apart, letting him ruin all that he loved before it claimed him?

It was a dangerous dance this was. He didn't know what he should do. Stamp out any thought of it, put it from his mind; locking it in the far recesses of his psyche never to be accessed again? Or, walk that dangerous path and claim this power as his own tossing caution to the wind like a small bird caught in a tornado?
Would it fill the empty void that was within? Would others stop seeing his shadow? These answers didn't come to him, nor would they till he actually made a choice, and even then he wasn't sure if he would get the answers he wanted. It was the choice and its aftermath that scared him.

There were discussions that lasted well into the small hours of the morning about what happened, where things might have changed. Of course everything came back to the time that was spent in Time Compression and the length of time spent there.
Squall was stuck until Rinoa saved him, after watching Ultimecia gave her powers to Edea. Seifer however, was stuck longer. He watched Rinoa save Squall, watched the rest of the group leave, their exhistance in the Compression world blinking out as they reached the real world. But not him.

Fuu and Rai couldn't find him, nor help him no matter how hard they tried. And to say that Seifer didn't try to leave would be a lie. He tried, and failed over and over again. He went to the Lunatic Pandora, the Memorial and stood in midsts of monsters during a second Lunar Cry, untouched by the wild beasts that ravaged and roamed around him.

The time he spent there showed him variables of futures and pasts not done. They were all linked, connected and entertwined. For a brief momement he could see all. He could look forward and see the past and every choice made by himself and those he loved. He could turn and see the endless choices that laid themselves at his feet. It was powerful to see such things, such tiny choices that lead to a huge rolling effect later on. Or watch as a choice died away and left nothing but ripples. His mind boggled and felt like it was going to break open like an overripe gourd from all the knowledge it was possessing.

The hollow noises of his breathing and footfalls were the only comfort he had for a passage of time. Eventually, even those sounds wore away like an over trodden boot. Silence, deafening silence enveloped the tall blonde. Only his thoughts, his memories and the sounds his mind gave up as burnt offerings were the things he could hear, the things that would keep him sane no matter how twisted and distorted they became. Some of them were not pretty; the harshness of war and the bitterness of hate for enemies infused by a Sorceress.

Eventually, those too were silenced, their voices hushed as well, and nothing but the empty void of quiet was there to wrap itself around the scarred man once more.

After a while Of course, he could hear voices over the empty sound of nothing. To hear nothing for a long time, not even his footfalls made him uneasy, as if he had actually died, but was stuck in a form of limbo. It made him feel as if he had finally gone crazy. He tried oh so many times to shut the offensive sounds out. But like many things here, he had failed at that too.

Through the deadly mix of voices and silence, coupled with the swirlling grey that stayed with him, the gunblader didn't know how long he was there for. It felt like a lifetime, but if could have been only hours. It also could have been days. He had slept and woken numerous times in the castle. Its strong walls surrounding him, enclosing around him like a Knight's armour for protection. Some nights, he woke to the cool air from the gardens licking at his cheeks and the tears he sometimes found there.

Her voice, their voices filled his head, burned themselves upon his soul. Seifer could feel the imprints the left on him like a lover's touch that lingered. These women weren't his lovers, nay, they were rapists. Tormentors, puppeteers of the worst kind, the kind that sunk talons in deep and toyed with your very heart, soul and mind.

"You could stay with us-me. We-I could love you, make your pains melt to nothing..." It kept telling him. He didn't know which voice belonged to who, they overlapped and wound around each other like snakes in a pit. Coyingly sweet and painful as pinpricks they were. Taunting, teasing his so fragile mind.

How many times did he want to give in? How many times did he want to let them claim him, to take the pain away? How many times had the thought flickered through his head, that he could be the Master of this domain? The Master of this hideous domain filled with silence and the pain from his memories. He couldn't. Time constricted and expanded around him, letting him see glimpses of those who had made it to their proper time. Seifer wasn't sure if that hurt more, seeing them happy, or crying at whatever might be going on in their lives.

Again he was on the outside, looking in.

Walking slowly, the tall blonde entered the Gardens once more to lay on one of the stone benches. The former Knight eased his weary bones down to the unyielding seat, and let his dull green eyes cast themselves upwards to where the sky would be.

The former Knight knew that he was at home, in bed between his two husbands. That fact didn't stop the visions from coming; the memories of his time in the time compressed prison halt in their ethereal tracks. Instead, it flooded his mind, surging through him like Leviathian's waters. So many images in such a short span of time. Seifer could feel his mouth open to scream, but nothing came out; it was as if he was in the Compression again, lost in its silence.

If one of his partners glanced into his eyes at that moment, they would have seen flickers of the images that danced and swam through the blonde's mind. Suddenly, just as the dam was thrown open, it stopped. Instead of rushing thoughts, he felt the power of the Sorceress who did not have her power claimed; golden eyes staring back at his. Adel, who no longer looked hateful and full of spite.

"I can not continue to exist like this. My powers, I bestow upon you worthy Knight. Do what I failed to do. Gain a Knight and stay sane. My powers hold none of my hatred, it has been worn away to indifference. Go Almasy, take this power, wield it or hide it - I care not. I only want to die."

That day was one he would never forget, powers nestled deep inside of him from a Sorceress the world condemned as a Tyrant - in which she was in every right; but it was also the day that he went home. The powers wound itself around him, seeped into him, melding with his very being.

Moments after the fusion of powers and flesh took place, voices could be heard. Sitting up from the bench, green eyes glanced around the garden. Sounds, here? After such a long time? It couldn't be, no, in fact it must be some cruel joke that his mind had whipped up for him. The final straw to break the chocobo's back so to speak. Accepting that he had lost his mind was so much easier than thinking that someone had come looking for him.

"Seifer?"

Oh! now it was a voice he knew, one that he grew up with. How cruel his mind was. Or perhaps the gift of the powers wasn't a gift but a curse; a curse of insanity, to be trapped here in Ultimecia's Castle. Lord and Master he would be then, a laughing fool, nay, a laughing Master of the Castle of Time.

He laughed, threw his head back and laughed, his voice echoing off the walls of stone and mortar. He shouldn't have been so amused by loosing his grip on whatever reality he might have had, but at that point, Seifer didn't really care.

"Seifer! Where are you?"

Wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, the leggy blonde sat up and faced the arching doorway, maybe his crazy mind would actually give him an image to go with that voice. Of course, the green eyed man didn't have to wait long; his auburn haired counterpoint stepped through the door's frame.

"Seifer. I found you."

"No Squall... You didn't find me, I created you. And I'm sure when my mind gets bored, it'll create someone new to taunt me with."

Squall paused for a moment before he walked to stand in front of his former rival. "I'm real. I'm not part of your mind."

Seifer took the mirage in, smirking at the words. He'd have an interesting castle if this is how things would continue to progress. Of course, always one to tempt fate and Hyne himself, the scarred gunblader poked at the Commander's stomach. Blinking in disbelief as his finger hit fabric covered flesh, he did it again, a bit harder this time.

"What. The. Hell?" Every word was accented with a jab to Squall's stomach.

"Are you done yet? I would like to go home." The brunette shifted his weight and raised an eyebrow.

Jade green eyes blinked at him in confusion. "No... You can't be real. ...How long have I been here for?" Standing, the tall blonde looked about as if he would bare witness to his world crumbling. Again his attention turned to the shorter man, his hands gripping the soft leather of the jacket. "Home? Really?" Seifer let his eyes slide closed and leaned his head on Squall's shoulder.

The SeeD didn't quite know what to do with the man who was latched onto him. He'd never seen a display of emotion such as this from Seifer. The blonde was always the antagonist, the bully to those who wept. How much time had passed for him?

"Seifer... how much time passed here?"

Lifting his head from the leather of the jacket, his frowning brows marred at the scar, he looked at the other gunblader with surprise. "Um... I... I don't know. It seemed like forever, time would stretch and then speed up." He let go of his death grip on the jacket then walked to a tree, fingers dancing over the bark, over gashes in its protective hide.

"If this is correct, its been almost half a year here..." He looked at Squall, into those smokey blue eyes. "Take me home Leonhart."

The Commander nodded, picked up Seifer's jacket and gunblade, "It's only been hours over there...Let's go home..." Turning back towards the doorway he looked over his shoulder at Seifer. He halted, watching the blonde look around at the gardens.

"In the Garden, there sleeps no messenger...." Smiling softly and closing his eyes, Seifer let a couple tears creep down his cheeks. Home. The word felt like a healing balm to his mind.

Home is where he was, sitting in bed, the sounds of his lover's snore reaching his ears. The heat from their skin against his legs a reminder that he was home. Looking back to the blonde then the brunette in his bed, he felt loved, even though the feeling of being changed still slept within him.

For now, he would sleep. Lost in dreams to wake to noise and colors and love. For now.

Comments

Amila

February 2014

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