no ones posted in here in FOREVER

you're my "golden guy" as mr. boyd would call it.
the one that no one else will ever measure up too.
the one that i will see out of the corner of my eye across an entire continent.
the one that's had me since 5th grade.
and ill never have you.
ive come to accept that-i really have.
but every time i see you and your girl friend i won't lie-it tears me apart.
because i know i could be so much better for you.
i could be your everything.
but you're that silly crush that means nothing.
other guys have come along through the years.
and i've been fine when you're not around.
but when i see you...
i don't know.
there's just that fact in the back of my mind-
the little girl that would squal and laugh if you ever asked her out.
the one that would jump for hours in the rain if you kissed her.
but i'll stop.
we both know it's never going to work out between us.
but you can't blame a girl for dreaming, can you?
you can't blame a girl for dreaming....

(no subject)

thanks for nothing.
why did i even like you in the first place?
you are bipolar.
and a liar.
so dont call me.
dont talk to me.
your pride will probably keep you from doing that anyways.
you didnt think i was good enough.
but the fact of the matter is
that i was too good for your sorry ass.
sorry, but its true.

:(

i hate you. all of you...
you dont care who i am,
you look for the ones with
the bigger boobs,
the smaller waist,
the ones that you know
you can get into bed with.
i hate how you dont
give me the time of day.
you dont look at me.
you dont even recognize
my very existence.
i hate you. i hate you. i hate you.

...

sure ive liked lots of guys. actually, ive "lusted" lots of guys. lol. but you are different. its weird. with them i look and see a date, a kiss, a hook up, a dance, something small. but with you i see a relationship, a new me, a journey. you are amazing. and its weird because i didnt see it until just now. i know youre not ready for anything right now, your hearts been broken. but just remember, im here waiting. and even if nothing comes of it, i am SO HAPPY that we are friends. you mean a lot to me. you are such a special guy. it weird because ive never felt this way about someone. im not saying that i like you more than all the other guys ive ever liked, thats not true. but ive never seen someone as a possible relationship partner, as a friend for years, and as a wonderful person of faith as i do you. if you dont feel the same, thats okay. because im blassed just to be friends with you!

...

dump your girlfriend! please! i want you!
haha that sounds terrible.
but last night when we were talking you sounded so in love and as happy as i was for you, it hurt. bad.
im happy for you, i really am. but at the same time, i want you, and its not enough that you say youre "rooting" for me in the love dept. i want you to fall for me, as hard and as fast as i have for you.

dammit!